Hello there,
At first i didnt pay much attention to it because i thought it was just a phase when i was only feeling tired. Well before i come out and talk about my problem at first im gonna give some background info.
When i was in highschool, i used to LOVE literature, and i still do. I was a bookworm then and i still am now. I love books, expecially fantasy and historical fiction. Reading has always been for me a form of entertainment and stimulation that i have always enjoyed. I cant describe that great feeling when i finally find that great book that makes me lose myself into its pages. But... there is always a but, before going to highschool i first started to write, i created a fantasy world that slowly became really precious to me. I started to create kingdoms, cultures, religions... history. I created a whole world and then, i wrote my very first book. I finished it in only three months and i was 17. Well, later i decided to edit it and change it a bit because i found some parts a bit lame, but still, i was really inspired. It was a short story, just 200 pages. Every day i would write something in my journals and at the end of highschool i had 2 full written journals full of notes, hundreds of drawings and tons of maps all of them about my fantasy world. I think that creativity is my very best virtue. Ive tried a lot of arts, i have been into drawing, painting, sculping, music, but writing was the only thing that i really thought i was best at. I really was good at writing. I got the highest grades at writing essays.Then a friend told me, dude become a writer, you can do it.
Thats when the writers dream started. I had planned a series and started writing it, every day new characters came to my mind and the story became ever more complicated and diverse. I was into it, i was living it and each time i toughed the keyboard the words were flowing out of me. my story was coming to life.
Well, it came to an end. After high school i went to study abroad, and i didnt write anymore. Even though now Im only into scientific subjects I still didnt let go of literature. Yes what i study doensnt have to do with literature but i still read every single day. Ideas still keep comming to me but idk, i just cant write anymore and im starting to feel scared because its been a year now and ive only written two pages. Even when i do write its so hard, it takes me so long to put the words together, i dont know im getting crazy. Im not even drawing or doing anything else thats creative. Yeah i still read alot, i love it, i have so many fantasy books that i clearly enjoy, but the ideas that come to my mind about my own story are so hard to put on paper, i think that i am losing the very thing that im best at. For example, at this moment i have alot of free time, school starts 6 months later and now i work as a part time translator. I have plenty of free time and i decided to go to the bibliothek and write there. I stayed for 2 hours and only wrote a page. It was hard as hell and i didnt get satisfied. I only want my power to come back, i want to be that guy again, that young writer who can write ten pages in a hour and then write more because he cant stop. I used to be that guy, i have the ideas, its not that i have no idea what to write, its just that i cant write anymore. I cant put the words on paper. I dont know what to do! Is it just a matter of time or what? Thing is that writing is part of my identity, its part of me, and now i feel like ive lost my very most precious thing.
Id appreciate every reply, thanks a lot.