by stella_blues » Thu Feb 23, 2012 9:49 pm
Society tends to put more pressure on a teen with an eating disorder than anything else. So your goal might be how to convince your children why and how to ignore that message of the perfect body constantly bombarding them through billboards, commercials, popular stars, magazines, etc...
I would start by building my kids' self esteem.
Teach them good coping skills for dealing with stress.
I would NOT comment on how they look unless it's absolutely sincere and not punitive.
I'd involve them in meal prep, so they can witness you making healthy food choices for the family.
DO NOT TELL YOUr KIDS TO FINISH EVERYTHING ON THEIR PLATE! This is a huge backfire. It's teaching your kids that it's wasteful (bad) to leave food on the plate and to keep eating even if they're full. If my mom did one righ thing by me, she taught me to stop when I'm full, no matter how much or what I ate. But even still, the societal feedback pushed me into an eating disorder when I was 15. My friends and I were each others' cheerleaders for taking any measure to lose wieght. I would see how many days I could not eat anything. The farthest I got was five days in a row. My mom had no idea I was fasting this way. I realize now that was a big part of the problem. My mom just wasn't tuned in. I translated that to mean she didn't care what I did; as long as I don't talk about it, it's fair game.
So a great place to start is fostering open and honest communicatioin with your kids. This involves asking tactful (non-confrontational, but positive and loving) questions to open the door for communication. When they share something bad, don't scorn them. FOr instance, my friend's 14 yo daughter told her she'd tried pot at a party. Gloria didn't flip out on her. SHe listened well and had an intelligent conversation on the pros and cons of smoking pot. She sort of guided her daughter into reaching her own understanding that smoking pot is not good, without have to yell at or lecture her.
Hope this helps. If you're a parent, I give you props for even wondering about how to protect your kids from developing an ED. Most of the time, parents live in la-la land and choose not to see it.