You judge your therapist as "feeling superior". That's okay. It is very normal and acceptable to judge.
The reason you go to a therapist is for advice. You don't go for the therapist to just listen in silence. No. Instead, you expect the therapist to provide an opinion, followed by a recommendation for change. That is what you pay for. This requires the therapist to make some judgments.
And by default, some of the recommendations will be judgments not in your favor, judgments and/or opinions that make you feel uncomfortable, that you do not like to hear. Therapy is not meant to be without discomfort, without conflict, without challenge.
It sounds like the therapist is touching on topics you don't like, e.g. your casual relationship. This is not the therapist being judgmental on some irrelevant topic, correct? Presumably your relationship is somehow connected to the very reason you decided to go to a therapist, right? If so, then tension is bound to occur at some level.
I mean, the therapist isn't randomly making judgments regarding some irrelevant topic, right? She isn't bringing up and judging you because of your race, religion, or political beliefs, right?
moon12 wrote: I am really messed up and dont know what to do.
What do you do? Here are few options:
-1- Push back on this therapist. Be direct. Explain you do not agree. Also explain that not only do you not agree, but you do not feel comfortable with how they are approaching the topic. But, don't tell the therapist that you disagree with them because you judge that they "feel superior" to you.
-2- Find another therapist. Maybe you guys are just a bad fit. But, be prepared for the next therapist to possibly have similar judgments. If the next therapist communicates a similar concern about your causal relationship, then you might really think hard about what they are trying to tell you.
The only reason I'm cautious about making the blanket statement that a therapist should never judge patients, is because this pattern repeats in the forum and elsewhere. People do not like the advice provided, so they answer shop. They seek advice they want to hear. This means, they jump from therapist to therapist, from forum to forum, from community to community, until they find someone that makes them comfortable, generally giving the person the answer they desire.
Side note: What did your partner apologize for?