Nigel, thank you for your reply.
Yes, some other member on this site wrote that during speeches/lectures, the speaker is taught to look at noses (or atleast nose levels) rather than eyes, but this is no excuse for me: I cannot even have a conversation with a relative or the grocery man without focusing my gaze on his nose. The more I write this, the more ridiculous I feel...I am aware that there are
worse problems such as diseases etc, but the fact that others are somewhat hurt by my behavior (especially people who are conscious of their noses), makes me hurt, and worsens by habit, which consequently makes me avoid everyone and...life in general. I am only comfortable/happyy on my own.
You write that people can become uncomfortable when looked at in the eyes, but I find it the exactly opposite. Everyone who I talk to (whether a stranger or someone close), I focus on the nose part, making a relationship impossible and they ALWAYS notice; sometimes people who I meet for the first time notice and rub their noses (some even ask me if they have anything on their noses
). Clearlyy from the abnomality and the rather silliness of this problem, I cannot bring the subject up with anyone though I am aware of being a laughing stock. I wish this habit would go away or at least that people would think I am not abnormal. Sometimes (when I'm positive) I think 'I should just ignore everyone's comments and live with my problem, as I'm not hurting myself' but most of the time I am pessimistic and cannot help feeling like ther is no answer to this problem. Should I just 'forget and deal with it'? The only comments I get back are 'It IS weird and you need help' which isn't of much help...
When I look at someone in the face, I think 'they are going to notice my weirdness'. That's probably the first thought that comes to mind...or the only thought that is in my mind. Could this habit be linked to my reluctance in being with others? Or that I am pessimistic? There are many pessimists in the world but I doubt they focus on noses. This sounds so trivial, but I wish somebody could understand the seriousness of it and how damaging it is.