Why would work make me depressed?

Because people quickly pick up on your constant and repetitive negativity and self-loathing.

And if they do give you the benefit of the doubt, it doesn't talk long to recognize you will try to use them as your punching bag.

I'm surprised you don't enjoy a creative job that you trained for and are good at. Many people do dull, repetitive work for which they're overqualified, but they're able to stick it because they're making money for some purpose. What makes a job interesting is the people one works with. If you're feeling shut out by your workmates, maybe they don't talk much to each other, either.

What makes a job worthwhile is what you do with the moolah. You should be either enjoying your money or saving it for the trip of a lifetime. Or even just because you like to see the numbers go up on your bank statement. What I'm hearing is that you give it away, to prove your disdain for money, working, and the recipients of your generosity. Is that how it feels?

Candid wrote: What I'm hearing is that you give it away, to prove ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Financial_domination

It mostly serves this purpose via Cherryfindom and/or paypig. Jason uses it as a form of erotic self-humiliation, paying a stranger to play the erotic fantasy role of online domina.

Positive change means feeling better about yourself and the people around you. Everything struggles in life sometimes; that's what brings about evolution in people, animals, plants, the planet.

All organisms are bound together in the struggle for existence by complex relationships between each other. Also, the struggle for existence is greatest between organisms of the same species.
~ https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strug ... _existence

Life is a competition, winners and losers. If you keep shooting yourself in the foot, other people will exploit and despise you until there's nothing left of you.

We see a smart, cheeky, witty Jason here who had some bad breaks early in life and expects bad breaks for ever. This thinking has got you where you are today.

You're not going to find your answers online or in books. You can only define yourself in relation to other members of your species. How you feel about other people and your concept of god will determine how you feel about yourself.

You need at least one person you can talk to, even if you have to pay for it. But as long as you're working, shopping, and keeping yourself entertained, you must be able to find someone who's just like you in some ways.

I'm glad you 'talk' to someone although you seem (to me) to be making a bad bargain.

That being said, I'm a great believer in "If it feels good, do it". Hooray for you!

victorias_secret wrote:To me, that is worth more than online advice about using a blender in comparison to a juicer or whatever sad pathetic attempt at trying to look intellectual. Know what I mean? Would you like to have that lifestyle? very possible for a woman.

Throughout your time here, in essence, you are asking how to make your life better, or at least more tolerable, and you are always talking about helping others. The site that I sent you to, the site that you seem to have zero capability in understanding, is pointing you in the direction of getting yourself an enjoyable life. How? By filling up your body with LIFE ENERGY !!! But, as per your programming or conditioning or whatever one wants to call it, you deny any such thing is going on here.

What are you going to do with this new woman? Are you going to bore her into leaving you in the dust? Because she will; she's got too much going for her, at least in the monetary department. Are you going to learn from her how she obtained her worldly status? Is she happy with her life?

Listen every morning . . .

victorias_secret wrote:I send this woman money to enrich her life and so do other pay pigs. She makes 3 or 4k a week. I am saying this is actual help in comparison with what you are offering.

My body is full of life energy I am eating great. How does this enrich my moment to moment experience? How does the change my external environment? It doesn't. No matter how much I eat, like you describe, will buy me a house or a new car. (do you even understand that much?) you are just eating. I'm talking about something else much greater. (do you even understand?)

You leave me shaking my head. No matter. I knew not to get involved with you again.

victorias_secret wrote: But to me that is what I consider help, look at her life now. House. Car. Holidays. money to spend on nice things. Enriching her personal experience. To me, that is worth more...

Lol, who are you trying to fool Jason? Well, mainly yourself.

You were not selflessly helping this woman. You were paying for erotic humiliation, you were paying for a service, same as you might pay a prostitute or a lawyer. You aren't being some wonderful altruistic helper, you are exchanging money to satisfy your desire to be humiliated. She is earning a living, same as the barista at your local coffee shop.

When you go to your boring job each day, you are enriching the personal experience of clients. When you go to the coffee shop, you are helping to enrich others lives as you pay for your tea or whatever. You are participating in the economy, woo hoo! That doesn't seem to be worth more to you...

...but paying a findom to talk down to you, that is worth more? That is fooling yourself.

Go buy yourself a cheeseburger today as to help enrich a personal experience.

victorias_secret wrote:I' m not denying that I get off on it. but what I am pointing to is I consider that real help...look at her life now.

Lol...over the course of my years living in Las Vegas, I had my share of neighbors and friends that made a living in the adult entertainment industry, whether strippers or straight up prostitutes. It is a much more accepted way to make a living than the rest of the United States.

They absolutely loved clients like you. They played their roles well, extracting as much money from clients as possible. They would tell the client what they want to hear, make them feel good, paint them a story, get them worked up to get off on it. If the client wanted findom, that's what they gave them. If the client wanted struggling nursing student in need of saving, that's what they gave them. Then they went home to their husband, two kids, and very much normal life with all the ups and downs of any other life.

But of course, you will say that the fantasy your paying for is real. Look at her life now! Lol..you have no real clue what her life is like. You have a life for her that is in your mind. She is an entertainer, she is a skilled online profile that must play into that illusion. If she wasn't careful, if she didn't send photos or videos that "prove" your fantasy, then you would stop sending her money and she...or he...or her pimp can't have that happen.

Note..don't get too hung up on the he or her pimp issue. Assume she is an independent. Regardless, she is creating for you the fantasy you want. She is writing a narrative for you. She has a brand to protect, so she will be very careful to make sure you believe and that she "proves" to you that when you send her money it is going to those things she tells you it is going to. She isn't going to tell you that the money is for her kids diapers, because that would ruin your fantasy.

And you're a writer Jason, so I think you would understand the power of maintaining the fantasy for your reader. You are her reader. She must, must, must keep the fantasy alive for you or the money goes away.

Edit: I'm not denying money isn't helpful. It is extremely helpful when you go buy a cup of coffee or a blender. You are supporting the economy. But, this findom is no different. You are paying for a fantasy, a created fiction.

victorias_secret wrote:and I am saying that money trumps whatever advice you are offering.

Lol. Advice is money.

victorias_secret wrote:be specific in this situation in regards to me? (you are unable to be specific to what advice would help me...did you ever notice that?)

No...it has been years...people have given you all sorts of specific advice to help you. But...no one can make you actually implement the advice.

The blender example is but one example. You give lip service to implementing it and talk down to the person giving the advice. You dismiss that advice, and say that giving away money to a fantasy is a better use.

It goes to the adage, you can take a horse to water but you can't make them drink. You want to claim you "implement" all this advice, but that is bull$%^. You give lip service to implementation.

victorias_secret wrote:still waiting on this superior advice that Richard claims he has.

I gave you superior advice. Stop being a self-loathing, negative d$@@. The vast majority of people pick up on that pretty quickly and therefore ignore you. You fail to implement this advice.

I continue to engage by choice, most people don't. If you want to improve your life...stop being a self-loathing, negative d$@@.

Note: I'm not saying you are...I'm saying to stop acting...to stop behaving in that way.

Again Jason...it has been years worth of advice, much of which has been focused helping you to stop the negativity, the self-loathing, and the lashing out at the advice givers. You failing to implement it, doesn't make it bad advice.

Anyway...I've got some advice to go implement...no really...advice that I will actually implement verses give it lip service. See you tomorrow.