permastoned

MP, your word "permastoned" made me smile. It's exactly how I feel. I still feel high after five months. But there is actually a big difference, because I can think a lot straighter, read, add, etc. You might have thought that all your problems were related to weed, and that they should all go away when you stopped smoking. In fact, you are left with all the problems that are not related to weed. Since you spent so many years smoking weed you probably don't know what those problems are and are discovering them now. You do sound depressed, but maybe you have to lower expectations a bit. Once I heard a recovering heroin addict say that one thing that helped him recover was realizing that he should not expect to always feel f---ing wonderful.

Hey Thinker,
Congrats on Day 3!!!

It not easy, been there myself, (many times actually) and not just with smoke. I even had a close one last night after 4 months, a couple days ago several friends had stopped over trying to score for the holidays knowing that while I don't smoke anymore I still have conections, BUT then last night one of my best friends I grew up with called to let me know if anyone needed "snacks" to stop over and I could pick up for my friends. Man it was temping as everyone in our neck of the woods has been very dry, and these are a group of friends that I have known and hung out with for 20-30 years, our kids have grown up together. I talked it over with my lady friend and decided that I'm out of this smoke circle period, sorry about everyones luck, as I know soon as it I get around it, I'll smoke again even if it's just a bong or two, and that's the bottom line. The good news is as my head gets clearer and clearer every day, and I'm enjoying that, so that's something to look forward to. I never realized how fogged up my brain had become as I took pride in being a fully functional smoker (not letting smoking interfer with my job, life, etc.) It's nice having my brain back and being able to think clearly again for the first time in years but it didn't happen over night. Hang in there and if you slip, you won't be the first person that has fallen back, just learn from your mistakes, start over, learn to be your own best friend!

Good to hear from you again Flower Child, I tried to PM you but the system wouldn't let me, not sure what was going on maybe I'll try again tomorrow!!!

Later...

This is a really cool thread too and I'm glad I checked into it.

Modus I don't know about you but I'm going to try that thing about going to the health store to try to get myself "cleaned out".

I am kinda permastoned too - when I am hanging out sometimes at night in front of my computer, the front part of my head / brain tingles a little bit. My face also feels a little warm. I think I can agree with someone else in here that said it feels like I just did one toke and stopped, never got fully high. Anyway... enough of that.

Stick to it man, from your posts it sounds like you will have no trouble staying away from pot though. You seem to be quite militant about it and that is fine. Perhaps there is something underlying. Maybe something that happened, or didn't happen, during the pot use? Just trying to help man. Hang in there and hopefully we can help you in the meantime. I would love nothing more than to read that you experienced that sunset, or that music did move you, like it used to.

BMichigan, nice to read your posts. You made a good call by not scoring for your buddies. Last week at work an older worker asked me if I could score him some, which I have done on holidays in the past - and I said flat out no. He then said he would try someone else, but if he couldn't, could I then? I said no. He didn't mind... but... I can't be in possession of that stuff! I'd be baked within hours... maybe minutes. No weed can be around me, LOL!

Anyway nice thread here too, I enjoy participating. Take care everyone.

Michigan i am glad to hear you didnt slip thats good you now know that your in control of you mind and can mkae the right choice.. well i am sad to say but sliped Marry Jane Got me agian . it mad me really mad so i am starting over next monday when i leave town for a grad trip so i think that will be a good start becausse i wont know where to get weed.. but i am ready to stop my plan is to be smoke free by june for when i grad from higschool.

Welcome J. i hope to talk to you soon

Hey Thinker,

Don't beat yourself up for giving in to having some smoke, been there done that, just use it as a learning expierience and move on. Guilt is only useful if you turn it into something positive, otherwise if your like me I'd say screw it and, I already blew it, might as well make it worth my while now since I've already crashed my "little red wagon." You've already done the right thing and set a new stop date, Congratulations, keep us posted!!!

Later...

i am doing good now i am back on trak this saterday will be one week smoke free. i really wanted to get stoned on christmas tho but i dont think i will i am not shuer. but any who i whould like to wish all of you in this therd a very marry christmas and enjoy the holiday


The Thinker

i have similar problems i wake up day after day feeling like life is all a dream i cant enjoy anything, example i bought new equipment for my guitar and i cant enjoy it cause nothing seems normal, i have panic attacks and i notice that some of my vision is a bit sketchy and different than it was before i did pot, i just wonder when will it ever go back to normal and thats what i want i just want to be normal again i am always sad and i just want to sleep cause that is the closest thing to being normal and i would like to know any ways of getting back to normal if someone can help me that would be great thanks .

canadianrockstar wrote:i have similar problems i wake up day after day feeling like life is all a dream i cant enjoy anything, example i bought new equipment for my guitar and i cant enjoy it cause nothing seems normal, i have panic attacks and i notice that some of my vision is a bit sketchy and different than it was before i did pot, i just wonder when will it ever go back to normal and thats what i want i just want to be normal again i am always sad and i just want to sleep cause that is the closest thing to being normal and i would like to know any ways of getting back to normal if someone can help me that would be great thanks .

i wish i could help you, that sounds so much like me. sleeping is the only time i feel close to normal as well. my vision is also messed up, for instance when i look at a large screen of text i will often see patterns in it and there seems to be more "static" in my vision. how much did you smoke and how long have you been off it?

Perhaps you have maintained the thinking patterns that were encouraged by your marijuana use. I realized after quiting (also 1 year ago) that the way I percieved and reacted to things, and simply the kind of thoughts that bounced around in my head, were pretty messed up. These persisted for a time without the weed, and my doctor told me that the synapses in your brain form certain permament connections over time with repeated thoughts. Likewise, thoughts that you used to have but don't anymore, well, the synaptic bridges involved with these shrivell up. The idea is that the brain needs to be retrained in more positive thinking patterns, and this is a biological process as well as an emotional/mental one. I went onto anti-depresssnts (Lexapro) shortly after this and it has made the process a lot easier.

Perhaps you need to try something different to force a change?

well.
the only way I can relate is that I'm permastoned.
I'm a girl who just turned fifteen.
I don't think I've gotten high more than ten times since the summer.
It's such a horrible feeling and I have been depressed for a couple years
and this whole thing is just making it worse, and making me feel worthless.
I know what you mean when you say you feel like you're 1000 pounds.
I'm the same way and I hardly exercise.

It is really scary because 'Perma stoned' Doesn't that mean we'll be like this forever?
I was just informed about this whole permastoned thing today because my friend's boyfriend told me it's what I have.
It's a horrible and emotional road to be on and you can't help but wonder if it's impossible to get off of it
or if you should just end it all right now.

I also seem to have no emotion unless I'm faking it around my friends or something. I can laugh, but that's when I forget about my condition. I mean, It's been two months and I'm pretty much used to it by now. But every now and then, reality sinks in and I just get completely scared and break down.

Does it wear off?
I'm going to read other people's replies, though.
I don't think I can even tell my parents so if it has to do with a psychological thing, I can't get help or anything.
I'm sorry for the long post.
also sorry that you have to go through this.

another thing.
It didn't happen when I 'quit'.
It happened when getting high.
I was having anxiety attacks and it felt like my brain was shutting down.
Definitely wasn't happy.

I honestly thought it had to do with my liver because, to escape, I've been drinking and popping pills since I was thirteen.

Pretty lame, but it's weird to know I can't escape anymore because I am so messed up in the head.

@dancesarahdance

I replied to your post in the psychology forum. I've noticed you've been digging up old expired threads from both forums in the search for answers to your questions.

As I wrote in the psychology forum, there is NO SUCH THING as being permastoned. If you want some actual facts about marijuana instead of hearsay, let me know and I'll answer the best I can.