My parents bought a small flat - what to tell to girls?

yea that's a great one to use. If they press the issue then you know money is important to this girl. keep in mind that just cause she cares don't make her shallow or only out for money. thou that can be the case. its just that money is something she needs to know about you

I have a hunch no girl could ever prove she loved you, to your satisfaction. She could only ever prove the opposite, by hurting, leaving or betraying you. This means whoever you take up with will be on trial for the rest of her life.

Somehow I believe that my mother really proved that she loves my father even when for me it looks that my father really is an a**hole to her from time to time. I don't know how to say why I believe she loves him, but it really look from the way she talks, acts, helps, etc.

In your "hot donkey" post you envisioned a whole relationship through marriage, children and bitter divorce with a woman you haven't met yet. You want to know how the movie ends before you'll buy a ticket. This means, if you keep it up, that you won't see any movies and at 50 you'll still believe everyone's after your money.

yea, I should hope maybe that marriage will be good. But just I read on the internet that a lot of woman **** with other man while in mariage, and also friends tell me like I hear story - the worker in sports club about 27 years old has f***ed 20 married woman from the sports club.. All those things draw me an image of what woman are like.

And others I see in couple also annoying the man and the man.

but not by staying at home and telling yourself there's no movie worth seeing.

yea, trying to do that. At least I myself will improve even if I will not find what I want.

How did you come to have so little trust in yourself and in life?

I don't know.

Now a question to everyone here. What is love to you? what are the values that love has in your life? i ask this in a search to learn more of empathy for others and is a step.

I think you can imagine a love to cat or to a dog or whatever animal you love. Cat is always wanting you and happy spending time with you. It does not **** your mind. He needs little money.
And from woman I also want that she do not ****, and not go too intimate with other man physically.

How much do you pay for your flat?

The perfect amount for me.

Oh, tell me

I just did lol

Oh that is good, as usually I forget a humor can be an answer

Hamming wrote:Somehow I believe that my mother really proved that she loves my father even when for me it looks that my father really is an a**hole to her from time to time. I don't know how to say why I believe she loves him, but it really look from the way she talks, acts, helps, etc.

So this is your template for relationship: the man behaves like an a**hole and the woman proves her love by putting up with him.

I read on the internet that a lot of woman **** with other man while in mariage...
All those things draw me an image of what woman are like.

Some women play away. Some men do, too.

yea, trying to do that [staying at home and telling yourself there's no movie worth seeing]. At least I myself will improve even if I will not find what I want.

You will only improve at relationship, and grow in trust, by actually being in relationship without committing too soon. More commonly we see people here committing way too soon: idealising the partner, handing over their hearts, their bank balances and their mental health. That's a serious problem, obviously, but I think the opposite is worse. If you believe no woman can be trusted, that's all you're going to see. And then you can be a bachelor all your days. It's probably cheaper (if loneliness doesn't drive you to unhealthy practices) so that might be the way to go. You can't expect to win the love of a good woman if you believe they're all out to deceive you.

I think you can imagine a love to cat or to a dog or whatever animal you love. Cat is always wanting you and happy spending time with you. It does not **** your mind. He needs little money.

Yes, people who routinely assume the worst of the opposite sex usually get a cat or a dog. They live and die without robbing you or screwing around, then you buy another. It's a good option for you.

And from woman I also want that she do not ****, and not go too intimate with other man physically.

Is that it? You want a hot donkey, by which you presumably mean a woman who's desirable to the majority of men, and you want her to be faithful to you? That's a bit like buying the fastest and flashiest car, but it won't start unless YOU, and you alone, are in the driver's seat. Will probably be invented one day. The car, not the woman.

Humour is always a great answer, being serious hardly ever improves relationships

JuliusFawcett wrote:Humour is always a great answer...

Except, of course, where a friend, colleague or partner plucks up the courage to confide painful feelings. It's a great answer when you want to stop people getting close to you.

So this is your template for relationship: the man behaves like an a**hole and the woman proves her love by putting up with him.

No, man has not to be a**hole.

Is that it? You want a hot donkey, by which you presumably mean a woman who's desirable to the majority of men, and you want her to be faithful to you? That's a bit like buying the fastest and flashiest car, but it won't start unless YOU, and you alone, are in the driver's seat. Will probably be invented one day. The car, not the woman.

So you mean all hot woman are sluts? And bad looking woman would also want to be sluts, but they just don't get attention from man?

Good luck finding a woman whose hot, and knows she's hot, and not end up hooking up with a man who is willing to support her lifestyle, whatever that may be. Best you can be is a friend. Not that it can't be done, but let's look at reality here. The pickin's'll be few.

Good luck with it, Hamming.

What does it tell a girl if you have a flat which your parents brought for you? You have a decent relationship with your parents. Your parents are rich enough to buy you a flat.

Both of those are positive. Having a good relationships with your parents matter when you have children because the parents might babysit from time to time. Having rich parents means that you come from a high status background.

Your problem is that you are unsecure about the fact that your parents payed for the flat. A woman might pick up on that.

In general telling the truth helps with building emotional intimacy.

What does it tell a girl if you have a flat which your parents brought for you?

It tells that she does not need to care about money, her husband will have enough money. And she will be more safe in terms of money not because of her but because of me.

Lets say there are 2 guys like me. One has a flat, another does not have a flat, but has better social skills, has more alpha male qualities.

She chooses guy with flat just because this looks like huge thing. But she would really love another guy - she does not choose him just because he does not have flat.

And then still after some time she meets that cool guy and decides to cheat and **** with him just because she kind of loves him in real, or at least he is much more attractive.

So in the end - flat does not generate love but generates fake love or fake attraction.

But lets hope its just a worst case scenario and this will not happen to me and I will find the girl I really love and she loves me

In general telling the truth helps with building emotional intimacy.

that makes sense.


Hey you know - and there is not guarantee that you will have that flat your whole life. Looks for example at the Ukraine. War is damaging cities. Houses are destroyed. And you are never sure what those bastards will make with your flat.

And if she loved you because you were rich. Once you become not rich, she just leaves you and finds another man who has at least an apartment.


But lets hope everything will be good

Why on earth would they care where you got your house from. Nothing to be embarrassed for. Just tell them humbly that you have wonderful parents who gave you this gift (which you are repaying).

Hamming wrote:It tells that she does not need to care about money, her husband will have enough money. And she will be more safe in terms of money not because of her but because of me.

Lets say there are 2 guys like me. One has a flat, another does not have a flat, but has better social skills, has more alpha male qualities.

She chooses guy with flat just because this looks like huge thing. But she would really love another guy - she does not choose him just because he does not have flat.

And then still after some time she meets that cool guy and decides to cheat and **** with him just because she kind of loves him in real, or at least he is much more attractive.

This is hilarious.

Hamming, don't even think about dating any more girls. You don't like them, you don't trust them, you think all they want is your money. And from what I've heard, you don't have much. You expect them to seduce you, grab half of your empire (a flat, FFS!), and run off with someone who's a bit more fun to be around.

Seriously, I'd like to know why you think so little of yourself, how you've become so tight-fisted, and what you think life will be like 30 or 40 years from now when you've got your flat and some more consumer durables but your bed is cold and you still believe no woman worth her salt could fall for someone like you.

The way things stand, you're right. Where's that getting you? Is it what you want, Ebenezer?

Candid wrote:

Hamming wrote:It tells that she does not need to care about money, her husband will have enough money. And she will be more safe in terms of money not because of her but because of me.

Lets say there are 2 guys like me. One has a flat, another does not have a flat, but has better social skills, has more alpha male qualities.

She chooses guy with flat just because this looks like huge thing. But she would really love another guy - she does not choose him just because he does not have flat.

And then still after some time she meets that cool guy and decides to cheat and **** with him just because she kind of loves him in real, or at least he is much more attractive.

This is hilarious.

Hamming, don't even think about dating any more girls. You don't like them, you don't trust them, you think all they want is your money. And from what I've heard, you don't have much. You expect them to seduce you, grab half of your empire (a flat, FFS!), and run off with someone who's a bit more fun to be around.

Seriously, I'd like to know why you think so little of yourself, how you've become so tight-fisted, and what you think life will be like 30 or 40 years from now when you've got your flat and some more consumer durables but your bed is cold and you still believe no woman worth her salt could fall for someone like you.

The way things stand, you're right. Where's that getting you? Is it what you want, Ebenezer?

Noticed just now that there are new posts.

Yea, its empire for me the small flat. Cause it takes so much work to earn it. So much beautiful life hours sold for a flat.

If it was easily earnable, like I could earn 50 flats in my life, then it would be less of a deal.

I do not know what will be after 30-40 years. Maybe when I am close to death, then the flat will be less important, because after I die, I do not need flat anyway.

And I think so little of myself and I am tight fisted probably because its so damn hard to earn money. I feel so much streess often when I go to job. I spend so much hours of my life doing not what is the most what I want. And what I want most is to chill, relax, play and almost nobody pays money for this.

Recently I was fired from job 2nd time out of my 3 jobs in the field where there is high demand of workers and there is no crisis. That shows how hard it is to earn money and before firing they cause me strees.

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I have to spend as little as possible and to save me flat and money for time when nobody will hire me. So thats why I do not want to spend for girls.

This maybe not bring girls to me, but what can I do.