My parents bought a small flat - what to tell to girls?

**Posts:** 367 · by **Hamming** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 7:09 pm

So I am lucky - my parents bought a small flat. I just repay them every month like a loan for this flat some amount of money.

But its kind of safer feeling than taking loan from bank, plus bank needs interest.

But really when girl asks how much you pay for rent, I have no prepared what to tell. I am lieing - that I pay same amount as I give a loan to my parents. And then she starts discussing - oh you pay so much, you could take a loan maybe and start having your really own flat.

If I will tell its secret, it will make her think there is something wrong and also she will try to find out still what the the hell is there happening.

If I lie - maybe if I ever get in serious relationship after some time - I could tell the truth. But then how the girl will think? She might understand my position that I wanted to find a girl who is with me even when I am not being rich.

But also she might think - he lied to me, so he next time he might **** another girl and lie again by finding some stupid reason like he does not want to break family so he lies. Or once the girl finds out that I am a liar, she herself might start lie same as me.

Trust in relationships is very important. And by lieing I am making my myself untrustworthy.

So what should I tell to a girls?

**Posts:** 9886 · by **Candid** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 8:02 pm

Hamming wrote:But really when girl asks how much you pay for rent, I have no prepared what to tell.

Does that happen often?

It's nobody's business unless and until you're getting hitched and merging your finances. Just say "It's my flat" and there's an end of it. It is your flat. You live there. It doesn't matter who paid for it.

**Posts:** 367 · by **Hamming** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 8:49 pm

It's nobody's business unless and until you're getting hitched and merging your finances. Just say "It's my flat" and there's an end of it. It is your flat. You live there. It doesn't matter who paid for it.

by telling its my flat - I instantly look rich and girl might start thinking - oh he is so you and already has a flat and make her like me partly because I have a flat. And I will not know why she is with me is it big part because I have a flat or is it big part because she like me like a man.

Does that happen often?

probably every second girl asks how much I pay for rent at least

**Posts:** 9886 · by **Candid** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 9:32 pm

Hamming wrote: I will not know why she is with me is it big part because I have a flat or is it big part because she like me like a man.

This seems to have been a worry for you for a long time. Owning a flat doesn't make you rich; it makes you normal. Considering how much you used to worry about spending money on dates, and not getting a return on your 'investment', I don't think anyone's going to confuse you with Mr Megabucks.

probably every second girl asks how much I pay for rent at least

Unless you want to discuss your financial position on dates, I'd be telling "every second girl" I've got it covered (ie. none of your business) -- and focusing on the other 50 per cent who are more interested in who you are and what you do than what you own.

Oh, and leave Mr Megabucks to me. I have Plans for him.

**Posts:** 549 · by **McCain** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 11:05 pm

If you mislead to try and control reality, there will never be a reality. If telling people the truth makes you see the real them, then it was worth it. Your problem is thinking they have the inability to handle your truths. Maybe it's time to raise your standards and surround yourself with less superficial people and value yourself for more than what your worth in numbers.
McCain

**Posts:** 367 · by **Hamming** » Thu Feb 12, 2015 6:30 pm

hmm, yea. Makes sense, just date other girls. But I just see hot donkey and I want her

and its not so simple to pick worse looking girl when you can have hotter girl

Really my mind is often believing in wrong things just because people know how to tell in a way that I would believe.

And thats why I am afraid that I marry a woman, then we have a child, then we divorce and then I what will happen - problems that child has to live somewhere.

Some guys do not divorce, they just live unhappy life without love once they get married. But I want to live happy life and if woman make my life shitty, then I want to divorce.

**Posts:** 549 · by **McCain** » Thu Feb 12, 2015 8:28 pm

Hamming wrote:Really my mind is often believing in wrong things just because people know how to tell in a way that I would believe.

What do you mean? This is an interesting statement.
McCain

**Posts:** 367 · by **Hamming** » Thu Feb 12, 2015 9:00 pm

McCain wrote:
Hamming wrote:Really my mind is often believing in wrong things just because people know how to tell in a way that I would believe.

What do you mean? This is an interesting statement.
McCain

THe same as I stated before - girl might make me think she loves me when she actually does not.

Or when I listen to politics and see many logical statements - I think oh he talks clever and logical. But he might be some bastard, just talking the way that I think he wants to do good to society.

**Posts:** 9886 · by **Candid** » Thu Feb 12, 2015 9:37 pm

Hamming wrote:girl might make me think she loves me when she actually does not.

I have a hunch no girl could ever prove she loved you, to your satisfaction. She could only ever prove the opposite, by hurting, leaving or betraying you. This means whoever you take up with will be on trial for the rest of her life.

Or when I listen to politics and see many logical statements - I think oh he talks clever and logical. But he might be some bastard, just talking the way that I think he wants to do good to society.

You're right to be suspicious here. Until a politician has a track record you can access, you can only assume he's looking out for his own career, and while he's in the public eye that can mean hiding, cheating and lying.

You're in big trouble if you assume that of your personal relationships, though. You want to be loved for who you are. So does everyone. But if "who you are" assumes the worst motives of other people, while simultaneously wanting "hot donkey" :lol:

, you're going to attract what you're putting out: suspicion, drama, superficial values.

In your "hot donkey" post you envisioned a whole relationship through marriage, children and bitter divorce with a woman you haven't met yet. You want to know how the movie ends before you'll buy a ticket. This means, if you keep it up, that you won't see any movies and at 50 you'll still believe everyone's after your money.

My advice: go see a few movies with an open mind, and gradually you learn (by director, actors, previews) what kind of movies you like. The same applies to relationships with girls. The smart ones are looking out for themselves, and you need to do the same ... but not by staying at home and telling yourself there's no movie worth seeing.

How did you come to have so little trust in yourself and in life?

**Posts:** 81 · by **Naithiz** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 9:01 am

Hello this might not be the advice you are looking for but its what came to mind.
Reading books on pick up artists for social engineering i read many times that a girl asking that type of question is the same as you looking at her tits. you and here are seeing value she is looking to see if you are valuable to her.
using this as the base of the advice you cant lie to her as when it comes out it will be a problem. and it seams you worry about telling the truth as it sounds silly (my understanding) that you have a lone with mommy and daddy. Now how can we work around this? their advice is fiction. something that sounds unreal so they don't invest into it. a story about how you pay the rent by saving the landlords cat each month sounds silly (not suggesting that as a real idea) and so they either have to laugh at it and leave it alone. or they have to press harder into how much money you make and spend. that type in my opinion is not a good match as they are likely hunting for a life style not a life relationship. thus saying something that cant be real will show if its curiosity or a hunt for info.
Disclaimer I have no empathy. and so this may not be sound advice for you as it is just logic no emotions at all.
Now a question to everyone here. What is love to you? what are the values that love has in your life? i ask this in a search to learn more of empathy for others and is a step.

**Posts:** 9886 · by **Candid** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 12:21 pm

Naithiz wrote:Reading books on pick up artists for social engineering i read many times that a girl asking that type of question is the same as you looking at her tits. you and here are seeing value she is looking to see if you are valuable to her.

Correct. Regardless of whether they want children, what's attractive in the opposite sex is what will provide for the family. He considers whether those tits will feed the offspring, she wants to know he has the financial resources to support her through pregnancy and the capacity to bring home the bacon. A man who pretends to be wealthier than he is is the equivalent of a woman having a boob job.

Now a question to everyone here. What is love to you? what are the values that love has in your life? i ask this in a search to learn more of empathy for others and is a step.

If you want to ask a question of your own, start a new thread. People likely to respond won't see "what is love?" under a thread that appears to be about real estate.

**Posts:** 549 · by **McCain** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 9:12 pm

Hamming wrote:
THe same as I stated before - girl might make me think she loves me when she actually does not. .

Go out into the world and try to be genuine, but stay in the background a little more. Focus on listening to what other people say more. Pull your focus away from how they perceive you. This is one of the most freeing things you can do. Try presenting a slightly flat person to the world experiment with that. Just be another person in the room. Try to become comfortable with showing only small hints of who you are to other people. Stop trying to explain yourself and stand for something all the time. Stop trying to swim against the tide. Run the risk of boring people with your silence. Women often find that challenging when they’re young. They feel like they have to make a mark, they have to be CLEAR in what they believe and feel. You will be able to see the motives of these girls more clearly and then make decisions on who is genuine.

McCain

**Posts:** 549 · by **McCain** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 9:33 pm

Candid wrote:A man who pretends to be wealthier than he is is the equivalent of a woman having a boob job.

Please explain this further. I find this interesting.

McCain

**Posts:** 9886 · by **Candid** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:57 pm

The man with material resources and the woman with big tits have the attributes for raising a family. A man pretending to be wealthy and a woman with more plastic than milk on her chest are going in for false advertising. Clearly it works.

People in love (or in lust) aren't usually thinking about babies, they're thinking: "I want to sleep with that." The biology of sexual selection asserts itself even when one or both is clear on not wanting children.

So when a man wants hot donkey but believes all women are gold-diggers, he's being hypocritical as well as missing the point. Big bank balance gets hot donkey, financial loser gets what's left. It could be worse. In other mammals, the alpha male gets all the females and the others get nowt.

I like saying hot donkey, lol.

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Sat Feb 14, 2015 1:47 pm

How much do you pay for your flat?

The perfect amount for me.

Oh, tell me

I just did lol

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