Anger and resentment.

We all have a different experience of the world, with that in mind, it is kind of amazing that anyone is able to help anyone else at all, but we can because some things that we do are always healing, love, caring, kindness, friendship, support, respect, appreciation, acceptance, compliments, gratitude, forgiveness all of these thought patterns heal.

Your parents were trying their best, they could not possibly have given you unconditional love if they did not have that love for themselves, you can forgive them, let it go, forgive yourself for when you were less that unconditionally loving and move on, moment by moment, trying your best to be a good person to everyone you meet, it will be a learning process, you will change a lot, and when you change with love in your heart, the changes are always positive, always.

Thanks for sharing.

pljames wrote:How long can I use the excuse my parents never taught me about how to control my emotions? Then my emotions controlled me and not vice versa. I had extreme bouts with them and never knew why. I will always believe my alter ego and my ignorance was to blame. I see many people with their emotional ways and think about my past. I feel another can not understand another's feelings unless they to have had them themselves. That's another bias I have against mental health counselors.

Words when expressed emotionally can be understood, but if the counselor has never had that experience, how can they truly understand the patient or client? There is the way things are and the way things should be. I wear my emotions on my sleeve (so to speak). I feel my life could have been better if I knew and understood how to control them. Thoughts? Paul

It is not about controlling, it is about discovering the issues and resolving them. Keep a diary of your thoughts and you will begin to see the issues. Also record who comes to mind and what interactions you had with others at or before the time you were angry. You need to see the issues and who else may be involved. Then you can resolve the issues and the emotions will no longer be arising in your body.

It is thoughts that point to issues and emotions are only your somatic reaction to the thoughts and issues.

when all else fails, roll up.

I think empathy is possible without having been through the experience yourself. For instance, I can put myself in someone else's place and feel sad about losing a job even though I am self-employed.