Dad made me Bulimic?

**Posts:** 1 · by **IAS315** » Wed Jan 29, 2014 1:38 am

I just need some validation. It says online how bulimia is a psychological problem, but my bulimia came from my dad always calling me fat. Or at least I believe it did. He always talked about how I should lose weight, then said things like "are you going to eat ALL of that?" It was all my life. Even in front of friends, which was humiliating.
Whenever he did that I would get upset and stop eating, putting away the food or whatever. That's when he would get all "don't be like that" and proceed to try to force feed me. I always felt like he was messing with my head.
I always KNEW it was him causing the problems and not any hereditary issue I have. I am not gorgeous but I think I'm pretty enough. I'm happily curvy (now), and my boyfriend (who helped me though a lot of the emotional problems that came from my dad's abuse) likes the way I look.
Anyway, now my parents are getting a divorce and my dad is fighting back by saying he was not abusive (not going into all of those details because its not the point of this post). He has said that my bulimia was due to a "neurotransmitter deficiency particularly serotonin" (he is a neurologist).
I just need to know if it is him or me. I just need validation, please. After being called fat all my life it HAS to be that...right?

**Posts:** 42 · by **mindatwork** » Tue Feb 11, 2014 1:29 pm

Your father being a neurologist is not related to his parenting capability. These are two different matters. That your parent set up a behavior pattern with you: reprimanding the child, followed immediately by force feeding her - perhaps reveals in him some form of guilt mixed with shame and dressed up as atonement. It wouldn't be surprising if the parent turns out to be having had issues himself when as a child.

You yourself can tell whether you fulfill the symptoms of bulimia by looking up the condition online, followed consultation with a competent psychologist. The latter may also prescribe appropriate counseling to help you work through the self-esteem and self-image issues resulting from the humiliation you faced in the presence of friends.

Hope this helps. All the best!

**Posts:** 12 · by **wrecked** » Thu Mar 20, 2014 6:42 pm

Stop right now with the victimization! does it matter who made you bulimic?! No! What matters is recovery! What do you think about yourself?! Why do you purge?! Where do I need to start to recover?! Rock on girl! So **** you to your father! (not essentially to his face but mentally or whatever) Focus on you and how to be you

**Posts:** 3 · by **Recovery4Life** » Thu Apr 24, 2014 5:28 pm

Ultimately the cause no longer really matters since now you're stuck with a horrible illness that can kill people. It's horrid that you've had to go through these things with your dad but changing eating patterns won't change the past - that's something to definitely remember and tell yourself. Like the other person said, you now need to focus on yourself and working on your recovery, this is the important part where it's in your hands in the present moments. Fight it. X

**Posts:** 44 · by **RyannJ** » Sat May 10, 2014 2:09 am

Your dad should do that to you.

**Posts:** 13 · by **andiworhol** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 11:17 pm

There is no one reason for the development of an eating disorder. There are several contributing factors. Yes, your father probably contributed to it...but as others have said, the point is mute. Now you need to focus on recovery. Good luck, hun!

**Posts:** 8 · by **gr8fulwoman** » Sun Jun 08, 2014 3:45 pm

I relate a TON to your story. I am not bulimic but have been a compulsive overeater/binge eater since age 13 and my father was what I always felt was "the reason why".

Here's what I have come to know. Though my father's attitude about my weight was unhelpful, I was the one who decided to become a binge eater. That was my reaction.

I have spent a lifetime blaming him, yet only now, when I am able to claim some accountability, am I healing.

I felt that I reacted to my Dad's comments about the weight the only way I knew how to express myself at the time. The bingeing covered up tons of fear that I was not good enough for my Dad at a certain weight, that his love felt so conditional. I wish he never made an issue of my weight, but I no longer feel it was "his fault". It was a reaction on my part that has had long lasting consequences.

**Posts:** 9 · by **camexonda** » Mon Jun 16, 2014 5:05 pm

Being called fat is never let's you feel happy.. isn't it?
I've been also called fat for my all life because I's in children obesity.
Well Now I got something which is going to help me to lose my fat..

Dad made me Bulimic?

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