by elleestdarby » Sat Jul 04, 2015 2:28 pm
Hi. I am 15 years old, and I am experiencing significant distress in my life. I have OCD and Avoidant Personality Disorder. I do go to therapy, but this topic is too difficult and embarrassing to discuss with him. So here we go. Ever since I was born, I have adored animals. I would protect them at every chance I would get, and it killed me inside to see them hurt. I don't know if any of you are familiar with the movie 'The Butterfly Effect', but there is one scene in there where a boy traps the main character's dog in a bag and sets it on fire. That was very hard to type, and that particular moment stuck with me for almost a year, and bothered me almost daily. Rabbits have always been my favorite animal. This is where I'm confused. I wouldn't call it a fetish, or a fantasy, but when I would play a hunting game, which was not often, and I would kill a rabbit, I would experience some form of sexual arousal. I felt extremely guilty just typing that. Obviously, this isn't me, right? I read an article somewhere that sometimes are sexual fantasies are the opposite of our actual personality. I have NEVER and will NEVER hurt and animal. This has been making my life a living h**l. Please, someone provide me some reassurance.