by Leo Volont » Fri Jun 16, 2017 6:28 am
Dear Savannah,
This is me, Leo, again.
I was thinking of the Boy Friend Aspect of your Problem. It is complex, and even paradoxical in how you would want it all to go. Here is what I mean. If your Boyfriend is a Man of Good Sense, then he should really be seriously thinking of getting out of this relationship with you. From his point of view, it has only been getting worse and worse, hasn't it? So if he Stays with you, despite all the Good Reasons to leave you, well, Do you Want a Man who is so imprudent and irresponsible with his Life. If you ever got Married, he would be just as careless and imprudent for the Both of You, wouldn't he? SO, you would actually Want Him to Show good sense and Leave you.
But you don't want that. So here is what you probably should do, or something like it. You need to Sit Down and have a Talk. Tell him that he must already know that you are going through problems, and you are about to get your health checked out. Tell him it would be unfair to Him to keep him tied up, and let him go. Tell him that if you find some Remedy for your Problem, then, of course you will make inquiries regarding his Availability and be open to a re-establishment of relations should he so desire.
Also, we did not go into the Possibility that SOMEHOW your Boyfriend is the Cause of all of your Anger. For instance, You Love HIm with all your Heart and you Want It to Work. Indeed you are Highly Emotionally Invested in this Boyfriend. In your Thinking you somehow believe your Future Happiness depends on this Boyfriend, and tell me if I am wrong. Well, you should consider that perhaps the only reason you Love Him so much is because you have an Idealized Romantic View of Him, that really doesn't Fit the Reality of who He actually is. It might be that Rose Colored Glasses Thing going on. But I could see you Suppressing this Realization that your Adonis may have feet of clay. And that Suppression and the Mind Games you are playing with yourself cause a High Degree in Internal Conflict, Stress, Tension and Irritability. It comes out Everywhere, even at your Boyfriend whom you ostensibly do not want to Drive Away.
I believe there should be a Common Sense Rule in Relationships, that as soon as you begin noticing that you make your Lover Irritable, or your Lover is making you yourself Irritable, well, IT SHOULD BE BROUGHT TO AN END RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Maybe it should be like Baseball and can Give It Three Strikes before its OUT. But why wait for it to really get Bad before you realize IT'S OVER? Why pretend its not? Irritability is just the Start. You THINK your Boyfriend is Your True Love, so why does he annoy you so much? If he Isn't the Man you thought He was, then he Isn't! Can anything be simpler than that?
BUT your Problem is probably Organic. However, it occurred to me in thinking about your Post that Meeting your Boyfriend, and your Anger commenced at roughly the same time. You did not say so, in so many words, but one just has to look at the Post and add up the Dates to see the Connection. And so I thought it would be best to run the Idea by you to see what you thought. I do hope I am all wrong, although the idea of needing to go on Meds for some indefinite period does not seem like such a cheery alternative.