As the title says, in some settings, I simply just can't stop laughing. For example: today at school one dude fell asleep during the lecture. The guy in front of me noticed that and broke into a fit of laughter. So did I, but I couldn't stop it. Without even wanting it, I held on for minutes (so did the guy in front of me, fortunately. Then the guy on my left hand side told me to pull myself together. The thing is that I often do this, somehow uncontrolled (there is no sense in laughing when there is nothing funny). Comments like that stuck in me, making me sad. I don't like this habit. Some people may say its a "luxury problem" or a "good thing" (because its meant to be nice when you laugh), but I rather experiences this as a strain.
I've done this in almost ten years I think. It started when me and my older sister walked together to school and on the road we always passed some girls from my class, making me all embarrassed. It may happen at school, at soccer practice, at a restaurant or when I am just chilling with friends, in other words, everywhere. It seems like it happens in situations where I am not necessarily insecure, but in situations where maybe I am not that comfortable like I am with my best friends (tho it may happen even whem I am with them).
Even with my family. When my parents are to pick me up (they are sitting in the car waiting for me and I walks toward them) it always happens. I simply cant help it. It feels like I have this urge to smile or laugh, altho I don't want it. Another example: we're having a family visit and my aunt drop in my room to see me and ask how its going. Then my mom join her, and even tho I am busy they fall inn and disturb me. So I ask them to leave while I am smiling, and then mom says "ohh, you are so pretty when you smile", which really makes me angry and wanting them to leave even more, but I still cant stop smiling. You know, I don't like to be interrupted or be spoken to as I was five years old. In those situations it seems like I smile/laugh because I get unwanted attention.
(As you see I also have this smiling-thing going on. Unwanted, "uncontrolled" smiling. I've got a lot comments on this, making me sad. If I try not to smile I just ends up making this weird grimace with my mouth, which also have been commented a lot. I kind of know from where this comes from, my dad told me he used to do exactly the same when he was young, and he still does this today.)
I went to a psychiatrist last year, abot 18 months ago, to deal with grief and mentioned this "thing" to him. He told me to try not to think like "okay, don't smile/laugh now, don't do it", because that way I will do the exact opposite and just make it worse. Therefore I try to think like this "okay, your smiling now. Why? Why do you smile? There is nothing to smile about". Tho, in addition to these thoughts it often turns to "don't do it, stop it". Is there any professional psychiatrist or psychologist, psychology students or someone with smiliar experiences that can help me and "solve" this?
It would really make everyday easier. Thanks in advance!
Yours sincerely…