Does it get worse before it gets better?

Yes, it is normal. I have anxiety and I've known tons of people with anxiety and it happens. As for doing the right thing by looking at past experience, I honestly don't know for sure. But I do know that before you try to do anything you have to have a strong mindset and know what you want out of getting better and doing this will make everything a little more tolerable, whether you feel like you're getting better or not.
Don't take my word for it, I'm no expert. But this is what I've found helps at least a little.

Thanks hateaddict for replying to both my threads.

I know what I want - I want to have a happy life with my partner, but these anxious thoughts are all about what if I don't love him. I'm desperate to do anything I can to get through this and have the happy life that I know we had before all this kicked off, and that I know we will have again.

I know it can't get better all at once, but I don't know why I feel so down either. I'm doing an online course which encourages you to look at what has happened to make you anxious, but it just makes me all the more depressed. I feel hopeless right now.

You're very welcome.

It's good that you know what you want. That's the first step. And you feeling up and down constantly is just a result of your anxiety. It always finds its way into you somehow, no matter what. As for the course making you feel more depressed, maybe try laying off of it for a little or when looking at what has made you anxious, look at what you can do to prevent that from happening and if you can't, analyze how you can stop yourself from feeling anxious. I find that often with anxiety our response to the problem is illogical, yet it's still extremely relevant because it's tearing us down. Finding out how you should react to a problem you're confronted with helps with keeping yourself from feeling anxious about it and this just helps with everything really. For me, I'm the most anxious about going into high school in September. I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was about nine (I think) and the first day of school has always been the worst thing for me. But I've recently been making guides for myself with the kind of advice I'd want to hear from someone else that's rational and helpful. I've looked at the best ways to react to things that would make me freak out and when I have a sure and clear idea of it, I don't feel so scared and when I act on it, it doesn't always work out but it's working out more overtime.

So if examining the situations themselves is making you feel worse, then maybe rather than just examining the situations, give a shot at looking at healthy ways to react to them. I'm not an expert, but doing this really helps my anxiety and someone I know with anxiety.

You are incredibly wise for someone who isn't yet at high school. Thank you for such great advice.

I think there is worth in looking at the things which are hurting me - when I journalled earlier on, I felt better for a short while, before the anxiety came back. I realised that I hadn't finished what I had started and once I realised that, the anxiety got quieter - it didn't go away, but it got quieter.

Now I've spent about an hour journalling again, and had a good cry, and I feel a bit clearer again. But I feel like I've pushed it hard enough. Now I feel like I need to be kind to myself, take a bath and watch something ridiculous on the TV.

I have intrusive thoughts which make me anxious, rather than anxiety over particular situations, but I think the guidance is the same. I've been doing some diagloguing with a person who I imagine is wise and helpful (like you) to try and work through the thoughts. I think though I've let some things slip - mindfulness, keeping busy, and letting the thoughts pass through without reacting for example, as I've felt more depressed. I should probably get back to those things.

Thank you and again, you're welcome. And yes, you should be kind to yourself. As for intrusive thoughts, journalling might help. I know when I have an intrusive thought I make something out of it like a poem or a song or something and that really helps. I've been doing this since I was 12 and when I look back at my old songs I kind of cringe and get a good laugh out of it, but it also shows me that I've gotten better at communicating my thoughts in an abstract way which automatically made me better at communicating my thoughts in more concrete ways which I actually prefer most of the time. The difference between situations and intrusive thoughts is that one you can control to a degree, but the other is near impossible to control and if you're able to then I'd say you're well off in that area. So since you're not yet at the level of being able to take intrusive thoughts out of your head, let yourself feel the pain and make something out of it. It's okay if you're not very good at it, most people aren't when they just start out. Turn the tables on your anxiety and be like "Here. you gave me some pretty shitty stuff to work with, so this is what I did with it. How you feel? You mad bro?" and often, anxiety is just so pissed that you won the fight this time and often stays quiet for a while.
That's a rather humorous way of explaining it, but it really helps and makes you feel accomplished and gives you a sense of control over something you can't controls so much.

Thanks again, hateaddict, that's really good advice. I've been doing some dialoguing (making the thoughts one character and responding to them with a character which is kind, caring and sees what's real) and that's been helping. It feels a bit cringeworthy (like you said about the stuff you created when you were 12!), but you're right, it does help, And I'm continuing to be kind to myself, reminding myself that it will take time, and looking at setbacks as proof that I have moved forward, otherwise it wouldn't be a setback.

anxietybucket wrote:Thanks again, hateaddict, that's really good advice. I've been doing some dialoguing (making the thoughts one character and responding to them with a character which is kind, caring and sees what's real) and that's been helping. It feels a bit cringeworthy (like you said about the stuff you created when you were 12!), but you're right, it does help, And I'm continuing to be kind to myself, reminding myself that it will take time, and looking at setbacks as proof that I have moved forward, otherwise it wouldn't be a setback.

That's great

You shouldn't fight or suppress. This makes fear and anxiety come back stronger. With that being said, sometimes it does need to get worse before it gets better. It's part of the healing process. This article explains why. https://confessionsofanawakenedyouth.bl ... -no-1.html