HOCD and loss of attraction

A year since I lost my attraction to girls. I'm afraid it won't come back, I can function normally, it's horrible.
What do I mean by "loss of attraction", how did it manifest itself?

Last year, everything started to get better: I understood how my obsessions worked, little by little they almost went silent, more intrusive thoughts, more false attraction, more anxiety. At the end of all this, when there was almost nothing left (a few intrusive thoughts, nothing more), I started to focus on the eyebrows and notice defects on the faces of girls I found attractive. And little by little, my attraction almost completely evaporated. I found fewer and fewer girls attractive, I found them more and more flaws. Little by little it spread to the whole female gender. It's as if I had, overnight, become incredibly more selective with women. And nothing has changed since then.

For a few days at first, I thought it was just OCD, I was testing myself, I had anxiety at times but nothing more... And little by little... Anxiety increased, attraction never increased, sometimes it even decreased. I was afraid, I tested myself, hoping that my attraction would come back, I looked for cases similar to mine... In the evening I cried, I prayed (although I am not especially religious). My loss of attraction occupied most of my time, when I had nothing to do, I thought about it. Then I contacted psychiatrists/psychologists by email explaining my situation, those who wanted to answer me told me that I most probably had OCD, that everything could come back as before, offering me therapies, unfortunately, we are not on the same continent and it is beyond my means.

In short, it's been a year, a year since my aesthetic attraction to the opposite sex almost completely disappeared, a year since nothing has returned, a year since it gnaws at me from the inside. I just want the attraction to return to the way it was before. I'm afraid it'll never come back or never come back entirely.


I don't really know if it's HOCD or not anymore. I don't really have any anxiety anymore, I almost don't test myself anymore, I don't even think I care about my loss of attraction anymore since somedays. Everyone seems to recover their attraction once in this situation, but not me. I don't even feel empty, not even bad. I don't know what to do anymore. All my life I have loved women, I have found them beautiful and overnight nothing more. I don't want to stay like this, I don't know what to do anymore.