the love of my life is addicted to marijuana - please help

Fallen Angel, run ... don't walk ... away from this guy and don't look back.

He's bad news. Research now shows that "falling in love" is actually a biochemical process that bypasses the part of our brain that involves rational thought and reason. The "good feelings" that you have toward this extremely troubled young man are no more based on reality than the good feelings he experiences when he's on dope.

Even those of us involved with people who aren't lying junkie thieves often have a challenging time transitioning from the infatuation stage of our relationship to one that's reality-based based on mutual respect and understanding. Given that fact, what do you think the odds of you having a happy long-term relationship with this guy are? The odds are extremely low.

Honesty is the cornerstone of a relationship.

Don't panic, but you should consider getting an AIDS test since this guy was shooting up and lying about it.

You know in your heart what's best for you - and that's a good sign. If you didn't you wouldn't be posting here. You have a lot to offer someone out there who needs you, but can give something back in return. Have faith. Do the right thing. The pain will pass and you'll realize in a few years how ridiculous it was to even consider staying with this very troubled individual.

HDog455 wrote:Hey saffron79, two joints late at night doesn't sound too bad. My only question is whether or not he really needs to maintain his habit? How would he react if you asked him to totally abstain for a week or two?

hi hdog, thanks for the reply. in response to your question of abstainence, he has tried it twice, where he abstained for one night and he ended up having withdrawal symptoms of some sort i think - extreme restlessness, cold sweats and temporary insomnia - im not sure if its a psychological dependance, i just dont know how it works. im worried as our 3 year old is growing up fast and i dont want her to know, also because he smokes around 7/8 cigarettes a day to, he hardly wants to eat during the day - he has eating issues, lactose intolerance etc - so he only gets the 'munchies' at night after a joint. overall its having a terrible effect on his health - i know 2 joints dont sound alot, but im concerned that if he cant give up such a small amount then how addicted is he?

thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

saffron

I don't know if anyone reads this stuff. But at least its somewhere to vent. Am I the only person in the world that wants to feel life sober? I know its hard, but its great to, why try to escape it? Together with my kids and his we have 4 and we just had a baby. We've only been together for a year. When we met I told him how I felt about weed. It's disgusting to me. Not just the smell and taste, the whole idea. He said he hadn't done it for 10th months and he didn't really care about it. I believed him. He said he didn't see anything wrong with it but didn't do it bc he has kids. One night he went and got some, about a month into seeing each other. He rolled it in front of me. I wanted to cry. It was hard to hold the tears back and he could see how it troubled me. That night he told me I was more important to him than smoking and he wanted me. I believed him again. A year passed and I kept getting small intuitions that he was smoking. He'd have mood swings, eat a lot of junk I mean entire boxes of cookies at a sitting, his eyes were glazed at times, and he was withdrawn from me. I guess because he was hiding it. I found out he was growing it outside. I'm pretty ignorant to all this so it made me blind. Long story short, he had sent a pic of his plant to his friend, I saw it. He told me the truth. He'd been doing it. I was so crushed. I mean just devastated and disappointed. I had thought that I was with someone who really loved me and wasn't some juvenile junkie. He said if he had told me I never would have given him a chance. That may be true. It still destroyed me. I have never been able to really trust anyone like I did trust him. And now I have doubts in him. Well he promised to stop. He supposedly dug it up and got rid of it all. Then a month later I find out he's manicuring some for a neighbor. I was so upset bc I didnt know if I could believe him. One night I got drunk, which is unlike me. I have no one to talk to about all this and I feel so awful inside. I feel like I lost the man I fell in love with and it was all an illusion. I made this life with him, and who the hell is he? Well I got so drunk. I waited for him to come home. I made him roll one and I sat there and did it with him. I don't know why. I think bc I wanted it to make sense to me so I could think of him as I did before. Also bc I feel selfish in a way for wanting to take away something he loves. After that night I told him when we didn't have our kids he could pick two nights a week to do it and I will drink. I am doing this for him. But I hate it. I'm ashamed of myself for doing it. I feel like I am not enough for him. He says it is to take away his nausea and for stressful situations. It makes me so sad and sick, i don't want to drink either. But I know I will be full of anger if he does it, and it doesn't bother me if I drink. I feel like a hypocrite. I just wish he would change his mind, say its a waste of time, he loves me and knows it is stupid. I wish he would want to quit forever. I don't know what to do. I tried really hard to understand it. I just want him to grow up and be a better man. Every time I look at him I see his acceptance of smoking pot. He works and is a good father. I should be happy with that. This is killing me inside. I just feel like giving up. I know I sound pathetic, I need somewhere to get these feelings out before I cave in.

I don't get it. I never will.I feel like I'm alone.