Depressed Ex and Hopelessness

I have been scouring depression fallout forums, articles, real life experiences, and the stories of those who suffer or who have suffered from depression to get a better understanding of what the love of my life is going through. I hope you guys don't mind that I’m getting a bit emotional as I type. We are long distance and he is mute but we've found ways to communicate and it was never an issue. He ended things a month ago and he left stating that he was unhappy with everything in life and was returning to therapy but we couldn't continue being with me because he wasn't giving me the life I deserved, that he wasn't good enough for me but he'd always care for me. He blocked me from the one social media outlet he had outside of the app we used to communicate when I would call him and he could type back responses. I haven't heard a word from him since but he still maintains online presence with friends (including a girl is was always to flirty with him for my liking, but he assured me he only had eyes for me)...I begged him to stay. I've been holding on to hope because I was his first girlfriend and he said he'd never been in love before until he met me. He talked about having children (which he never wanted before he asked me to be with him), marriage, having dogs, our careers and future home. He told me on February 25th, completely out of the blue that he was in love with me, that I was the one thing he had done right, he was never going to give me up, choose me a million times over, and how he loved me more than life itself. But on March 8th, exactly one month and two days ago, today, he broke my heart into a trillion miniscule pieces. I guess I'm here today because I'm completely desperate at this point. I've been crying everyday since and even though I've had so many gentleman callers since the split, I can't help but shun them all for the sliver of a chance that he could come back at any moment. We’ve been intimate before (resulting in me feeling a little used now...). I've expressed that I love him unconditionally, have sent a voice recording of me reading verses about strength and hope, and I won't leave his side or give up on him even though it feels as though he has given up on me. I would greatly appreciate responses, and if you would like, how things are from your point of view. as someone who pushed someone you loved away due to this illness. Thank you for your time.
~Rosie