Stalked by an Inn/Homestay Owner...

**Posts:** 2 · by **SomeTraveler** » Sat Oct 02, 2021 5:19 pm

Thoughts...? Weird story here and just wondering your opinion...

I am intentionally keeping some of the details of this post vague just to insure anonymity... I am a digital nomad and traveler living in a foreign country... i booked a low-cost inn/homestay/room in a destination of my choosing for awhile....

The owner of the place was an older female... she seemed to be overly polite to me during my stay... offering me free stuff as complimentary. I refused most of her hospitality just because i didn't think it was necessary. During the course of my day, i encountered her, mostly on the stairs on my way out of the building, sometimes near my rooms door, near the front entrance, or in the garden outside... normally i would say hello or good morning to the lady, and that was it..

When i came home for the night, i would see her again, but not always, i would normally say hello again, and again shed be near the entrance of the homestay or inn, either cleaning or just resting, i would then go to my room, to take a shower, eat and rest...

Part II... i spent most of my time at this place alone... then it came time to move, i switched to another rental in a nearby city... after i moved i saw that this older lady had posted a review/reference on the site on which i had booked her place.... later, i was shocked to see that the review was highly negative, and scathing, with about 6 reasons not to host me as a guest.. the older lady didn't say anything to me negative about my stay while i was there... just to give you an example she criticized my level of cleanliness in the review, but most of it was not true ....most of the people who read the review said it sounded obsessive and odd...

I suspect what was going on here is that the older female host was stalking me during my stay, and took the rejection of her hospitality really personally. it may be that shes done this before with other single male travelers, what do you guys think? thanks a lot for your response. the negative review really took me by surprise and was bizarre...thoughts? what was the cause of the stalking?

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Sat Oct 02, 2021 7:43 pm

SomeTraveler wrote:…what was the cause of the stalking?

Also a digital nomad, I’ve been traveling since early 2012. A great lifestyle.

To me, it sounds like for whatever reason you made a negative first impression. From that point on, she was more vigilant about what you were doing. One thing, for example excessive cleanliness, bothered her and that led her to be more focused on other qualities she did not like.

It really just boils down to the old saying, “Starting off on the wrong foot.”

I think it is premature to use the term “stalking”. To me, stalking would have been running into her repeatedly at various locations outside of the inn/homestay. That you repeatedly ran into her at her place of business, at a frequency and locations you considered odd, is not necessarily stalking.

Now, obviously you might reflect on the initial encounter and in your mind believe it was very pleasant with nothing out of the ordinary. What I’m saying is that most likely, she may have acted like everything was wonderful, when for her it was a negative experience.

Out of my own curiosity, why do you care?

**Posts:** 2 · by **SomeTraveler** » Sun Oct 03, 2021 11:29 am

Some of this could be true yes, but for example she didn't seem to be overly bothered by my presence because as I mentioned she was being overly polite.

Another explanation re: her movements around the place she could be OCD and that explains why she was always cleaning, watering plants etc. Moving up and down the stairs and crossing each other was just a coincidence. Perhaps that explains her dislike of my lack of cleanliness.

But then again this doesn't really explain the fact that the review contains what seems to be a personal attack or harassment so I'm stumped.

There are ways to avoid the review... Just create a new account with a different credit and home address for example...

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Sun Oct 03, 2021 11:43 am

SomeTraveler wrote:There are ways to avoid the review... Just create a new account with a different credit and home address for example...

That's the best thing to do, and then put it behind you. There are many weird people in the world. Don't let this brief interlude turn you into one of them!

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Sun Oct 03, 2021 1:47 pm

SomeTraveler wrote:But then again this doesn't really explain the fact that the review contains what seems to be a personal attack or harassment so I'm stumped.

Between my online work and travel, I’ve received well over 12,000 reviews. Sometimes there is just no explaining a bad review. What I do know, is that no matter how much you might try, you can’t make everyone happy. Bad reviews are going to happen.

And as you collect more reviews, a bad one every so often doesn’t matter as much. Therefore, creating a new account would depend on how many reviews I already had. If it’s my first review on that platform, then yes, I’m starting a new account. But if my rating is a 5.0 with 10 reviews and the one bad review drops me to a 4.8, then I stick with the account.

Stalked by an Inn/Homestay Owner...

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