A good tip for public speaking

The socially anxious/introvert tends to give people around them power/authority. So when presenting they seek their audience's approval before they have begun. They create anticipatory anxiety on this, and many other issues.

Yes, it is a helpful perspective. It is increasing your authority (worth) compared to that of your audience. It is important to balance the scales of "power" because your audience are an important resource for your presentation.


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I've always found really amazing that only thinking differently can have an effect on deep rooted emotions ! To be honest, it's far from erasing the fear altogether ... but it definitely helps overcoming it.

Hello
Everything is connected with the mind and immediately it gets portrayed through ones body language.It is very important that you should not allow any situation or anyone to overwhelm you.
For this a strong mental attitude is necessary for each and every individual.

"What are they thinking of me" is a dangerous way to set yourself up for failure.

"What am I thinking of them," is the same judgment, the other way around.

It's a well known fact that when you start judging people you disconnect from them. Sales people often prejudge buyers by thinking- that guy is a buyer, that guy is NOT a buyer.

Now what happens when you go into a sale thinking the guy is not a buyer??

I often let both these judgments pass as I put myself into a state of wanton confidence and motivation. Public speakers will tell you to get into the zone, so will athletes, and musicians. When in the zone you're not judging anybody because you are the best, you know it, and everything you do, and everything you say is right... connecting you to your audience every time.

"What am I thinking of them?" doesn't mean you have to judge them. It allows you to explore how you want to relate to them (rather than worry about what they are thinking about you which is typical internal dialogue of the introvert). As a speaker, you don't really know what they are thinking, but in the "zone", with those beliefs, do you care? Can you be too confident? Being this way is fine until you mess up and then hit a major low. It's a long recovery to believing that you are "the best".

Self-confidence is a great thing and your description epitomizes it well, but I struggle to believe that an introverted speaker with social anxiety would ever embrace those beliefs and be comfortable with them. Never mind the "zone", it's taking someone way out of their depth. Does therapy make a better connection when the goals you help your patient achieve are realistic?

I agree with hypknowtist. As an athlete and a musician, the reference to "the zone" was the most helpful thing I've heard regarding public speaking. Being in the zone and thinking I am "the best" has ever only helped me. It has never hurt me. It's not so much a cocky attitude as it is a moment of epiphany. Everyone should believe they are the best. It's not easy to do all the time, so when those moments come, we need to seize them. Everyone is allowed to be in the zone, and everyone is allowed to the best.

Instead of wondering what they are thinking you should be more concerned with what you have to give to them, because everyone will have their own thoughts. But most importantly, they are there to listen to you, and to hear you. So you have the control.
The World is Your Stage. Control your stage.
@briandeonbarton

yes those a good questions to ask yourself but i ask that to what im thinking of my self ? im a gonna make it ? why sacrifice my strength and becoming nervous ?

Thanks for sharing the tip.

This tip may not work too well. Because when you focus on yourself, you will be self-centered and neglect the audience. On the other hand, when you focus on delivering an important message to the audience, you end up more confident.

How about having the audience in your mind?