Thank you again for your reply. Apologies it has taken me so long to respond.
Candid wrote:I haven't forgotten the things you told me about your childhood family relationships. There was more than enough there to cause Complex PTSD!
Oh, I’m sorry you know about that.
I was seeing an NHS therapist last year, the most recent in a very long line. I knew she wouldn't be able to 'fix' me but from time to time I need a safety valve. I waited a very long time, too.
I am sorry you had a rubbish time, though glad you were able to see someone eventually.
I know you will, because you always have. The question is whether there's anyone you can talk to who won't rush to what they think is good advice.
I have a counsellor who rings me each week.
Most people mean well, but we learn over the years not to talk about what's happened to us, don't we?
Absolutely! I that is part of my issue - I try to tell people at work my symptoms and they just pretend I haven’t spoken.
An interesting effect of the covid-19 restructions is that my writers' group has gone online. Instead of half a dozen of us being chosen to read, all of us (about 40) can upload our stuff and receive emailed comment from other members. As you can imagine this has become quite time-consuming, but for some reason it's inspired me to produce an episode of autobiography before each weekly deadline, presenting stuff I would never have felt comfortable reading to the group.
Oh that sounds fun! Well done you!
I've found 'telling' my story, even if no one reads it, very helpful. It gets it out there, instead of festering inside me
Yes, that is a good thing to do. I do this sometimes and keep plodding on every now and again with ‘the book’
the thought that any one of 40 critics could read it is as good as being in therapy. So far I've had more adverse reactions (mostly from men) than good ones, but have become closer to three female members who've probably had similar experiences. To me, sorting the sheep from the goats is a good result.
Ahh! It’s such a shame you have had so many adverse reactions though I’m pleased you have found who your good people are and they have your back.
One of the most effective methods to separate from our past and take control of our lives involves creating a coherent narrative. A coherent narrative is a tool often described by Dr. Siegel, with whom I’ll be teaching the online course “Making Sense of Your Life: Understanding Your Past to Liberate Your Present and Empower Your Future.” The process centers on telling our story as a means of making sense of the events that shaped us, bringing memories and feelings to the surface to better understand how they inform our present state of being. Creating a coherent narrative helps promote emotional regulation. It develops and enhances the nine important functions of the prefrontal cortex, which include regulating our body, emotional balance, attuned communication and response flexibility, intuition, empathy, fear modulation, insight and morality. It can also help us to form healthier attachments.
Ooh, thank you for sharing this. I’ve talked and talked about my stuff in therapy, though I don’t ever feel much emotion. I never did get an better with K; I thought the world of him though when I was face to face with him, I came across as uncaring and uninterested because I was frightened of the intimacy and stayed in my ‘shell’. I feel like a lost cause. Why do I treat amazing people who are wonderful to me so badly and bend over backwards to the ones who treat me rotten? I’m sick of losing people who could potentially be lifelong friends.
Thank you