Driving me mad

I keep one of those (not sure what they are actually called) hard foam balls, and continually squeeze it in the palm of my hand. A tennis ball will also do the trick. Helps relieve tension while you drive as well as exercises the forearm muscles, down side of this is it keeps one hand off the wheel.

I to try not to let peoples poor driving skills (like mine are any better) bother me, and have on more then one occassion let some words (I will not repeat here ) come out of my mouth.

Hope this helps.

Seph

I think I might need to follow your advice Seph judging by my results (when honest) in this test:


You need to go 'Road Rage and Aggressive Driving' and then 'Driver Stress Profile'

http://www.theroad.com.hk/resources.html

Well, I was a bit too angry, but the other sections weren't so bad - lets wait for things to get better if I follow their advice....

Andy.

Yes a demon face guys because I too have had my satanic moments on the road. However ..............we all act too quickly sometimes when in a rush/anxious/mind on troublesome things.....this lessens our ability to act in a way that uses our cognitive processes.....to think things through before we act or to just let things pass us by, move on to the more important stuff!!!
There are many ways to lessen the general stress in life that can cause this momentary road madness, but one quick way to start to take control of those regretable moments is to get a mental picture of the last time that you had one........just see yourself............Are you all red and muttering? How does it look?
Usually it appears really out of character and weird.
So next time that your mind tries to bully you into uneccessary defensive action......... take a moment to take control and ask yourself if this is
The way you feel it best to react in this situation
Would you be be proud/regret your actions/thoughts
Could you change your way of thinking that would make you feel better? ie if you think that person who has just cut you up is a xxxxxxxx how about widening your judgement. Maybe he is trouble? Is upset and not thinking straight? Has a family mamber or friend who is ill? Has not read this web site????????
Just a few ideas to help make driving more relaxing and enjoyable.
Jill

Great stuff Jill. It's one thing being angry and it's another being angry with a couple of tons of potentially deadly metal at your disposal. Does anyone remember that TV ad which basically has a guy going for a drive to deal with his extreme anger? The message basically was: 'Go for a drive if you are really angry! At the time I thought this was iresponsable advertising as extreme anger has an extreme affect on the brain and body.

Mind you driving when really depressed may not be a good idea either. I remember being a front seat passenger driven by a suiciadally depressed patient at the hospital I was working at. As he drove he told me how his life wasn't worth living and that he kept wanting to 'end it all'. It is estimated that at least some crashes are 'disguised suicides' so I was quick to remind him of all the things he had to live for and how much he contributed to people around him etc. He did slow down eventually much to my relief. It's amazing how focussed therapy can be when the mind is really concentrated

Mark

i can't remember the precise details of the source, but somewhere Winnicott says that one of the most important learnings (of the infant) is learning to tolerate disappointment.

What has this got to do with road rage?

A lot of road rage (IMHO, or IMNSHO) is because other people let us down. They do not do what we expect them to do, or do not do what we would do in their situation (as we see it). This is particularly problematic if you are the sort of person who has a thinking style which says "people ought to". Then, when people don't do what they ought, you feel cheated!

However, if you have learned to tolerate disappointment - or in other words, if you can bear the fact that other people are other - then their otherness does not bother you so much, and you can put up with the xxxxxx xxxxxx awful driving that faces you every day on the roads!

Of course, you yourself never drive like that!



Kathleen

I think you've just got to the heart of it Kathleen . Being too quick to assign meaning to something causes so many problems and not just as related to anger.

Mark