Anxiety and guilt over my past feel gross

**Posts:** 3 · by **Anxious663** » Thu Oct 12, 2017 10:36 am

When I was 14 I was hanging around with a girl and she was not a very good influence on me. Although I thought it was great at the time! As she was fun. She knew these two boys and we were hanging around with them. We went to their house and that's when I had sex for the first time. I didn't really want to do it and I felt nervous. I wanted to fit in and seem cool I guess. I regret having sex. I didn't know them and I didn't like them. I didn't know their age, what they liked, or anything about them! They didn't even care about me either.

It wasnt until a while after I found out their ages I think one of them was 12! I now feel sick that I was 14 and one of them was 12. But I wasn't to know and they were the ones who had sex before I think, so I assumed they were my age or older maybe.
It was so long ago now nearly 15 years ago! But it comes back this memory sometimes and I feel really guilty that I should of known better and I feel sick that one of them was 12 or Both of them even. Please could anybody help me with how to deal with this guilt? I suffer from anxiety already and I keep thinking I'm some sort of pedophile! thanks for reading.

**Posts:** 2 · by **BoringUsername** » Fri Oct 13, 2017 12:39 am

That's only a 2 year difference it's not like you were the age you were now and they were 12.

**Posts:** 1554 · by **laureat** » Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:33 am

Do not to fight with the past

The past is our worst enemy because the more you fight it : the stronger it becomes : and hurts you even worse

The past is the only enemy that you can win against it by surrendering , by being thankful, forgiving

**Posts:** 3 · by **Anxious663** » Tue Oct 17, 2017 7:10 am

Thank you

**Posts:** 11 · by **KyCoo** » Tue Oct 17, 2017 10:11 am

So what? Teenage is meant for making stupid mistakes, experimenting and everything so that you know what is good and what is bad. The fact that you feel guilty for something you did back when you were 14 says a lot about your character. You're a good person.

It's okay if it keeps coming back to you. You can't stop it. Think of it as a childhood memory, or a dream. You're not a pedophile.
I've grown up with kids who brag about such encounters. There's nothing wrong. You too were a kid.

**Posts:** 3 · by **Anxious663** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:53 am

Thank you for all for the replies

Anxiety and guilt over my past feel gross

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