SSRI use- H E L P!

I am facing a dilemma. I was prescribed Effexor approximately 12 years ago after my mother passed to help deal with the resulting depression. I reluctantly agreed and it may have helped initially. At that time I was in my early/mid twenties and working quickly through the ranks at a financial institution, traveled extensively, met a wonderful woman, and radiated confidence and zest.

Fast forward to present and I have been through approximately 6 jobs now. I am unable to go any significant stretch of time without missing work and my symptoms include agoraphobia, panic,anxiety, irrational fears (Bridges, planes, etc), I am divorced 6 years and have not dated since, I have no drive to exceed ( a necessity in a production environment) and have withdrawn from my social circles. Over the many years since initially taking Effexor I have seen multiple psychologists, psychiatrists, altered diets and tried everything possible to seek help in finding some of my former self. Effexor has been coupled with Welbutrin, Amatripiline, Clonazepam, Seroquil, Ambien, Xanax, etc to combat additional adverse maladies. I have recently switched to Cymbalta 2 months ago when I had to take leave from work for inability to mentally motivate myself to attend. I'm aware I will lose my job and subsequently my apartment; however, I have such anxiety I can't face it. I have started counseling and went to see a new psychiatrist who recommended increasing the dosage of Cymbalta and possibly adding Abilify if this proves ineffective. I've read multiple books on mindfulness, scoured forums for helpful tips, and increased my exercise; however, nothing has assisted. I was supposed to return to work this week and I find myself no better than when I initially went on leave and no one has answers and I have called out sick all week.
Long story somewhat shorter, I believe in my personal situation the medicine has exasperated the situation immensely. I had a natural reaction of grief and depression to losing a family member and was otherwise excelling even completing my degree while working full time and building a future. Now I struggle from morning to night just to distract myself from thoughts which are exceedingly negative, I have no self esteem, no desire to date, no ability to thrive at work and I am financially in shambles. I don't want to continue the medication roulette; however, I am well aware of the debilitating withdrawal from my medicine due to a couple instances without insurance; however, I believe it may be my only hope. I'm aware I would need to taper and I plan on discussing with my physician who I know will disagree and recommend we give the "Cymbalta time" or "try different meds until we find the right one for me"....I didn't have these problems prior to the meds and sans suicidal thoughts or harmful thoughts I have just about every other mental stigma. I fear that after taking the meds for so long my normal brain functionality may be permanently altered if I begin the process of reducing and finally ceasing the meds. I have read thousands of similar cases over copious forums regarding these meds. Does anyone have any stories of success ceasing the meds, overcoming the hell of withdrawal, and returning to a "normal life" ? Does anyone have any additional recommendations? I am open to any suggestions sans spiritual guidance.