Journal entry 9.

Dear journal,

Today it hurts more than usual. I have had to let the love of my life go. It is as though I have been going through withdrawal. I don't know how I can help myself feel better when I am alone. When I am around others, it helps, but only for a short period of time. I truly think she is the one. I am doing everything I can. I have gone 3 days without communicating. I think I hurt her, and I don't know how to fix it. She doesn't want me talking to her right now. I feel abandoned. I am pretty sure she would be communicating if I didn't hurt her. I have never cried this much over anything in my entire life. She is out of town so talking to her in person out of the question. She wanted to see me almost every day after the break-up. I am not sure why this is. What do you think? I know that she is the one, it is not the right time for her. I miss everything about her. This time is almost impossible to enjoy the things I do anymore. I lost a piece of who I am. She made me feel better when I was hurt. She took care of me and my feelings. I know that time heals all wounds. I just need something that will help me at the present moment of time. It was a fantastic relationship, her and I corresponded really well, we hung out all the time. And She is the most incredible person. I don't know how I can heal from this one. There is a wound that is cut deep into my heart. I pretend that I am okay, when I am not. I know there are counselors and what not to talk to. I am just too young to be feelings this broken. Even though I give great advice, sometimes I need advice. The only thing in my life that is missing is true life. That is one thing that I desperately want. And I hope that all of my viewers do not think lower of me by this post. These are how emotions work, like a roller coaster on life's path. I want to wake up and realize that everything is going to be okay and I will find that love one day..