Adoption / PTSD

I am kinda upset right now. People say how much their lives suck because they can't get a expensive pair of shoes or they can't go to Italy for their birthday, they don't think about the people's lives whos actually do.

I'm pretty sure I have PTSD from being adopted, i was adopted as a baby ; being told numerous times I was a mistake, and being bullied and taunted for not looking the same (I'm Asian, adopted into a white family). For some reason people always say that my "parents" catalog shopped for me, and it's kind of sticking. They didn't even see me in person before getting me. They chose from a picture book of different babies

The nightmares are insufferable thinking there real , waking up confused thinking my family left me again. Whenever I get yelled at my brain automatically goes to whether I am appreciated or really a mistake.