Advice sought from people studied in Psychology about myself

First off I want to say greetings! My name is Justin Dunkin. I am 22 years old and a very emotionally optimistic person today. I am altruistic by nature because helping people is something I have a gift for. My area of study is psychology because it is a subject that can not only make my own life healthier, but those around me as well. Two birds with one stone. The reason I came here today is to get some insight from people who have studied psychology about myself. Please know that you are more then welcome to ask questions to clarify anything you do not have enough information on. I understand that sometimes giving advice to people provided limited information can be hard. I am someone who gives advice to other people on areas that I understand through my own personal research in psychology.

Before I ask my questions I will provide a brief synopsis of who I am as a person. If you have questions about a specific trait feel free to ask, I have examples of my experiences in life I can easily provide. Firstly, I am an introvert. This stems from a childhood of not thinking like those around me. In academic terms many people have told me I am extremely gifted. I have always thought logically when it comes to learning; I have an innate ability to separate my social bias' from my analysis of whatever I am studying or contemplating in my free time. This makes "deep thinking" very easy and relaxing to me. It has allowed me to take into account many aspects of various topics that many do not perceive initially. Unfortunately I can not turn this switch off and it bled into my social life. I have felt stressed socially around people since the age of 6 in Kindergarten. It is my earliest memory of not understanding why the people my age(or older) are doing in terms of social interaction. This is an aspect of myself I have explored intimately within my own head. If you have any questions about this part of me please ask. I am very open to discussion because I believe being fluid and honest when seeking advice or help on any topic is imperative to improving your knowledge. In fact it is just as important as being willing to accept constructive criticism.

The next part I would like to discuss about myself is something I have ran into with any person I have tried to honestly talk about myself. I am going to explain how I think through the example of my emotions as they are housed within my brain. Retrospectively I have a pattern of being able to be more logical and analytical in exploring every aspect of myself(through memories) in my head as I have matured. Due to my memory I have had the privileged to view various memories throughout my life. Most are locked up behind walls in my "mental fortress" as I call it. It is the closest way for me to explain it to people. These memories have been extremely helpful in understanding how the events affected my thought process at various stages throughout my life. For example I can note how my brain developed as I became older. What things I was aware of socially, ethically, academically. I do not allow the emotions that I felt at the time of said events have a dominant say in how I process the information I am gaining. A mundane example would be the first time I solved, at the time, what had been a difficult puzzle. I was a young child. Around 3-4 years of age. This was the moment I realized that I truly enjoyed learning and figuring things out. From that moment until I was socially ridiculed by those around me for my love of learning I subconsciously sought out knowledge. Knowledge here used in a very broad sense(across all spectrum's). This was a good memory and very easy for me to analyze. Memories such as these tend to come to me in a mental image similar to a movie. In contrast there are darker memories that have taken time to unlock. My brain put up more complex walls around these dark memories. They are things I can only access(or be aware of) once I was truly ready to view. An example I can give is that my memories will come in pieces, blurred, and often full of emotions and bias if I am not ready to view them. I believe it is a defense mechanism my brain subconsciously constructed. I am not sure if this indeed the case, but I am excited to learn explore these memories once I am ready.

I want to make it completely clear that I am happy with who I turned out to be today. My life has been filled with heart break, illness, depression, and many damaging events. However, I have become much more stable emotionally and do not let these bad memories define who I am as a person. I am very optimistic because after being in crippling chronic pain off and on for 6 years I am on the path to recovery. This rapid change in my foreseeable future has greatly helped me in the process of achieving what philosophers might call an ideal self. I have mended my depression to the point I am able to analyze things at my current level. It is a fraction of what I am capable of, but once I am well enough to drive I can seek therapy in real life. . One of the main reasons I am so interested in psychology is that I can take my ability to analyze myself and use it to analyze others as well. As my information library has increased I am comfortable with helping people with more mentally debilitating trauma.

My questions for anybody willing to analyze the limited date I have given above are as follows:

1) Do you have any psychological texts, articles, related videos, etc you believe would be helpful for me to read and/or watch?

2) Do you have any questions for me? I am willing to help in any way that I can.

3) Do you have any insights into terms that might explain who I am as a person?

Thank you very much for any insights you can give me friends! I hope everybody is having an amazing day.

Kind regards,

Justin Dunkin