Forgiving myself for hurting the first girl to love me

**Posts:** 2 · by **Andrew Shaw** » Fri May 20, 2016 12:06 am

She was the first girl that truly loved me, and we dated… but somehow I realized a few days later that i didn’t loved her. Eventually I broke up with her without explaining why, simply said “I want to break up”…
Some time after, I apologized to her for what I had done. She accepted my apologies and we remained friends.
After that, I found out that she was into me, again.
After I realized that she was into me, i turned into a complete cruel person, I literally pressured and pushed her into dating me again, she would ask me time and I didn’t gave it to her, i wanted to date her again and i wanted it now.
At the time she was dating someone online, someone that she was willing to break up with to be with me. I didn’t knew about that and when i found out, I literally offended her by saying that she wasn’t mature enough to be in a relationship with me and that I was looking for someone more mature, someone that.
Honestly, i don't know why i did that... It's a complete mystery for me, i don't if it was because of her not telling me about dating someone, don't know if it was jealously, i really don't know.
Since that day, we never spoke again.
Now, after “growing up”, i started to realize about some of the mistakes i've made in my life.
I realized i was the one who was immature, the one that was a jackass.
I’ve been calling myself so many things for what i’ve done. It’s hurts me and i don’t know if I’ll ever find redemption to what i’ve done. I can’t apologize to her, not after this. I can't forgive me.
Now i ask, how can i get in peace with myself, how can i forgive me? I could use some help...

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Fri May 20, 2016 12:42 am

Andrew Shaw wrote:Now i ask, how can i get in peace with myself, how can i forgive me? I could use some help...

This is a common issue. Every person on the planet has things they regret, things that if they had a chance to do it over they would. Fact is, you can't. That is a reality of life.

Therefore, your only choice is to move forward, to move past it by making a resolution. You endeavor to be a better person tomorrow than you are today.

**Posts:** 104 · by **jenn_** » Fri May 20, 2016 1:45 pm

It's OK. People make mistakes and regret afterwards.

Don't be too harsh on yourself. Just make sure you don't make the same mistake. Treat the next girl better.

You can also try help others like doing voluntary work.Turn your negative energy to something productive and helpful.

**Posts:** 46 · by **tijmenklip** » Sat May 21, 2016 3:00 pm

Yup people make mistakes. It is okay.

Know learn and grow from this experience. Acknowledgement is the first step. The accept that fact. Accept that you did it. Then forgive yourself for doing it. Give yourself this permission. You can learn from this experience. You can not change it.
So no use to keep beating yourself up about it.

Next I would apologize and ask for forgiveness anyway. She doesn't have to accept. But you should try! The least you could do

!

Good luck

**Posts:** 2 · by **SheAnarchy** » Sun May 22, 2016 9:02 pm

Old fashioned post apology would be a nice idea in my opinion. Writing thoughts clears them up for ourselves too. If I would be the one writing the apology, I'd say the truth and all of it as well as I could. Truth ("I didn't love her at the time ") might seem harsh, but that way, all the illogical and the apology will be able to be accepted. You don't have to search for further contact.
But I, personally, do not feel like leaving a deal such as this one unclosed. It doesn't matter too much how she takes it, but you told her the truth and that you do honestly feel sorry - at least now.

**Posts:** 2 · by **Andrew Shaw** » Tue May 24, 2016 12:46 am

I want to thank you all for replying me...
After reading your opinions, i feel like i should win some courage and apologize to her for everything in order to close this chapter of my life. I believe it would bring me inner peace.
It will not matter how she takes it, at least she will know how bad and sorry i feel for what happened.
Thanks, once again, for all the help

**Posts:** 263 · by **handheart** » Wed Jun 08, 2016 2:46 pm

Well you must forgive yourself because if you caryy with you this sentiment you will be afected in life .You must accept that everyone of us do mistakes in life .also it was nice to ask for forgivnes from this girl

Forgiving myself for hurting the first girl to love me

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