Does he still love me?

lonelygf wrote: He will only ever say I look 'cute' who wants to be with someone who looks 'cute' I want to be irresistible to him, I want him to think I'm sexy, I'm amazing, I'm beautiful.

He doesn't say it, because he doesn't think you are irresistible, sexy, amazing, or beautiful in the physical sense you want. I understand that is what you want. That is not what you are to him (in the physical sense). That is the reality.

How do I know how he feels? He won't have these kind of conversations, he will say I'm being silly, that he loves me, that I need to stop.

You know how he feels, because he has told you! He feels you are "cute" and he loves you. You just don't want to accept that this is how he feels. And he has given you a huge warning that if you want the relationship to work you better damn well heed...that you need to STOP.

That huge warning means currently, while you are not living with him he is putting up with it and still thinks he can tolerate your low self-esteem issues, but that will get old pretty fast. He is going to get tired of you being as he puts it "silly". There is only so much a person can take of constantly being asked by another person to tell them something they don't really believe.

I'm stuck.

How are you stuck? Because you want someone to tell you something they don't believe to make you feel better? You want a person to lie to you? How do you think that will work out? If he says, "You are sexy," first you won't believe him, second it won't be enough, so you will continue to push him to say it again, or say it with more conviction, or to then say you are "irresistible." How do you think that will work out for you?

You are "cute," but that doesn't satisfy you so you want him to change. You want him to adjust for you, lie to you, which you won't believe and you will push for more, etc. It is a bad recipe.

Honestly, I don't think you are ready to move in with him. He has told you what he thinks. He loves you and you are cute. He avoids the conversations and told you to stop related to being physically irresistible, etc. because that is not what he believes. He believes you are cute.

I know it is difficult, but you do recognize you have low self-esteem which is a good starting point. If you can raise your self-esteem that would be a huge step and second, don't settle for "cute" if it isn't enough for you. Look for another man that believes you are more than "cute."

Maybe cute is what he finds to be most desirable thing, perhaps your perception of the matter in that you think cute is somehow lesser than being beautiful/amazing is skewed?

It is only a problem if he sees you as being anything other than the most desirable in his eyes and if that is the case you should find someone who does value you in the way you wish.

Personally I hate "Cute" as I feel it places me in the category of bunnies and kittens, when I am a woman and want to be considered desirable. That being said it does sound like your relationship hasn't had enough time to develop yet, one way or another. I don't mean to be disrespectful to my gender, but some women,myself included, like to micro analyse things a man will say and do, in order to gain some clarity on where things are headed, but it ends up sending the guy running.

You are allowed to ASK him outright if its driving you crazy, but I would recommend taking a deep breath, a step back, and get the fun going in what is essentially a very new relationship.

I had a friend when I was in sixth form, and she was a big girl, and she had men asking her out like nobodies business. She was a lovely girl, she wasn't the most attractive of girls at school, or the coolest, or the cleverest, but she was really confident and embraced who she was, and guys really liked that.

I'm not saying you have to be confident, because some people just aren't. But the point I'm trying to illustrate is that looks aren't everything and there will always be SOMEONE out there who SOMEONE finds desirable- its called chemistry so I say enjoy this guy who finds you cute, and show him you can be sexy too!

wonkymirror wrote:Personally I hate "Cute" as I feel it places me in the category of bunnies and kittens, when I am a woman and want to be considered desirable.

It's lonelygf's anguish over being called 'cute' that places her firmly with the bunnies and kittens. A woman doesn't worry about labels; she knows she's sexy and desirable regardless of what anyone else says.

I had a friend [... who] had men asking her out like nobodies business. She was a lovely girl, she wasn't the most attractive of girls at school, or the coolest, or the cleverest, but she was really confident and embraced who she was, and guys really liked that.

Exactly.