Hi there,
I'm a 30 years old guy. I'm going through hard time due to my sexual preferences. I don't know what to do next in my life and I feel I'm stuck.
I have been in love with older men who are usually +60 years old (I'm picky about them) since I was 14 years old. I have never dated or had relationship with anyone. Actually I'm too afraid to ask because it's forbidden and taboo in my country to be homosexual. I have never spoken about it with anyone because I'm shy and scared to talk about it.
I've been doing catfish in social networks for a while (yes I catfish as a girl because there are so few older guys interested in guy) and watching porn (consists of gay/straight older men) to satisfy my sexual desires but I don't feel that would be good idea to do all my lifetime. I have always felt I'm different because I met so few people sharing my sexual preferences.
I have searched all around internet about Gerontophilia but it's mostly about men/women who are in love in older women/older men and vice versa but few about men who are in love with older men. I found here and thought it might be the place to ask my question.
I'm thinking about future life. I love having child of my own but I have never had any feelings for girls.
p.s: I have never had a female friend because I'm shy and I don't have many friends.
What can I do for my relationship? Is this a kind of psychology disorder or fetish? any tips?
Thanks for devoting time to me