Confusion...and little happiness

Hi, Zaby

I think you should try and talk to someone you trust and explain how you are feeling, maybe a teacher or family member. I also think you should see a doctor and see if they can help. Please dont do the self harm, i have been there and have the scars to show. in the long run it doesnt help.

Take care i dont know if this helps, but there seems to be a lot of people here that care. keep in touch

Natasha xx

Hi..Natasha,
THank for your advice, I really apprecite it. I hav spoken to a very very close friend of mine. An I do want do get some help ut im scared of telling my parents. I don't think they'd believe me.
And about going to the doctors, everytime i decide to go, I back out or find that im busy.
About the self harming I yused to do it a few month ago, but i managed to stop myself, I still hav my scars....few of them are fading. Thanks for your help...i'l try c the doctors if i have enough guts. Keep in touch.
xxx

Well, ther's some things I can say.

First things about friends at school. It's weird how some people don't really find real friends/people they can trust/people they love, until later. In school a lot of "friends" can really be very bad in terms of how much of friends they are.

In the school environment things are so reputation-based. And, gosh this is hard to explain, "friends" and the way people interpret "friends" is very very reputation-based. See. At school, you might consider people that think you're cool your friends. You might consider people that want to hang out with you your friends. But, really, that's not the way it should be. (I know I'm sounding really fruity now). They're all just trying to be the most popular. And if their popularity ever meets your popularity, they will easily choose their popularity and gosh, who cares about you.

Real friend-people are people that don't even think about all the reputation things. They just hang out with each other because they love each other. They don't care what they say, They are very open. That's the way it should be.

I figured it out when I met a great group of people at the theatre organization in my school. All the people there are the best for me. Then I saw my old "friends" again. And they're all jerks - as I realized. I found it to be very hard to hang out with them now, becasue no one's open with each other. They all act feaky, making fun of each other, biching about other people, telling lies and spreading rumors. I hate them all. I try to avoid them now. I can't wait now for the summer to be over, so I can go back and see my favorite people again on the stage.

Had to tell that first. Just remember that there are lots of evil people in the world :/ :/ :/

Darn.... forgot the other thing I wuz going to say. well, maybe I'll remember next time. : (

Anyway, just be sure to get into something. Yeah. Sports really don't do it tho. got to tell you that. You don't really get the chance to talk to other people in sports. You're looking for clubs. Things you might enjoy doing..... Yeah, good luck.

Hi,
Thenks for your advice, I already loads of extra stuff at school. An I just got made Assistent Head Girl, so now everybody is seeing me as this very very lucky person. I also understand wot you mean about people acting as though there your friends and stuff. I've been through that, I've had some of my so called "friends" bitch about me. They think I don't notice but I do. But the friend I hav been confiding in...we just gelled together.

I don't think I hav ever found a real group of friends...im more like a floter. Im happi dat you found your group of mates tho. I found out that people usally do go with people who have more power, hence my old "friends" now hang out with the head girl...and dislike many of my new punk, goth and hippie mates. And they dislike the fact that Im friends with people two years younger than me.

An about the sports...I don't really play that much...But THere ok =)

Thanks 4 your help...an your humor