angry boyfriend

**Posts:** 1 · by **skate** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 10:35 pm

Hi,

i have been with my boyfriend for a year and have always known he has had this problem as it ruined his previous relationships, and we have discussed it at length on numerous occasions and i have seen it a few times but where as before, i could walk away from it, we now live together, it wont go away and if we have any future together it has to be sorted!!

He is the most honest caring and trustworthy guy i have ever met but, he looses his temper at the drop of a hat!! and he knows it! for example, when he flat shared with two guys, he came home and the kitchen was a mess and instead of moaning at them when they got home, he just smashed all the washing up in the kitchen! It puts me on edge as i can never anticipate when it will happen! please can i stress that he has never laid a finger on me and his anger has never been directed at me however, Im am trying to over compensate by making him happy,ie, always cooking dinner or doing the shopping and im starting to get a bit resentful of this and know that i cant make the situation better, he is desparete to sort this problem as it has already ruined two relationships and also effects his work life but he is scared but also knows that if he doesnt sort it, he will grow old a very lonely man!!

anu ideas????

**Posts:** 10 · by **still love rach** » Mon Mar 07, 2005 3:26 pm

Tell him to do what Im doing at the minute, Ive recently spoken to a doctor about my anger management issues and he has referred me to an anger management counsellor. It is really helping me. I have a similar (sounding) problem and the course Im on takes only 6 weeks!!!

**Posts:** 15 · by **Spera** » Wed Mar 09, 2005 11:04 pm

Personally, I think that the best part of this situation is that HE KNOWS that he has a problem. I've heard somewhere that recognizing that you have a problem is the first part of treating it. It sounds cheezy, but it's really dead-on true.

**Posts:** 2522 · by **kfedouloff** » Thu Mar 10, 2005 10:07 am

Can you tell us what you are doing on the course, still love rach? Hearing about the practical things that you get to do could really help others who are struggling with this problem!

Kathleen

**Posts:** 10 · by **still love rach** » Fri Mar 11, 2005 11:02 am

Well, Ive only been to two sessions so far. I have another on Monday but they have basically just talked me through WHY I get angry, and the things that are underlying that, also they say that later on in the course we will discuss ways of reframing that anger and dealing with situations calmly etc. Im not 100% sure what to expect but it really helps just being able to talk to someone who is totally impartial and who understands. As I say Ive only been to two sessions so far but I feel far more chilled out and all round far happier already!

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