My journey to quitting.

Hey guys,

For a quick background I come from a family where every single one is addicted to one thing or another. I'm 18 years old going onto 19. I first began smoking in April 2020 using cartridges never really flower since I didn't generally enjoy flower at that time and shortly after starting in April with carts, I got my first rig and was smoking dabs for a few months after and began a cycle of smoking excessively daily from every few hours to every hour etc continuing for around a year and a little and each time the feeling died out more and more. Fast forward, It's August 2021 and I can fully acknowledge it has taken a heavy toll on to the point where for the last few months I'll finish a high thc cart full gram in 2 days or 3 and so on from there which to some individuals that might not be a long time but it was such an intensively high potency that even the "stoners" that introduced me to getting high were impressed by how much I could smoke aka out smoking them which I’m not proud of. I've tried before without success but this time something snapped me straight, I have absolutely zero cravings to get back on it currently since I am sick (stomach bug) but I'm starting to get over it but it's the initial reason for me to begin quitting since.

I've gone absolutely cold turkey from even a few days still killing off a cart in two days and I'm really hoping to keep it that way.

So lets start this journey together and to whomever is reading this no matter what you're feeling right now I hope you do know that there are other people dealing with the same issue and you aren't alone and if there's anything this forum has taught me is that this will give you the hope the keep on pushing. Prior to this I always thought my physical pains and mental uneasiness was me just going crazy and my anxiety skyrocketed over time thinking "Do I have this or that
" going to conclude the absolute worse things I could.

Day 1.

It's my official first day quitting but for the last 3-4 days I've been somewhat sober going from smoking excessively daily to eating edibles on the first two days to a quick puff yesterday but nothing more after that.. After I conclude writing this I'm going to be tossing out the edibles and all the carts, etc that I possess. As I'm sure you've experienced it yourself, I struggled a lot with sleeping, I thought it was how I was laying or where I was but my body continued bouncing around and maybe starting to quit with a stomach bug wasn't the smartest move since the combination of the nausea from quitting in the stomach and bug are almost inseparable but gladly the bug has passed and it's become more manageable now I only get stomach pain/nausea for a bit every few hours but only got the future to look at and after reading through the forums I got some ease of mind seeing that others also went through cold sweats, stomach pain, irregular bowel movements etc which I did notice the other times I quit and was feeling very nauseous but my solution was "I'll smoke and ill be okay" and POOF there went all the cold sweats, nausea, depression and every other hellish thing you can think of and I tested it multiple times just so I wasn't thinking "oh crap I'm going to die!!!!!" Regardless of the amount of time it's been whether, it's from smoking less or my muscles relaxing after throwing up (stupid bug), my chest has become a lot more clear in the aspect of I can take a deep breathe and not feel like I’m being stabbed or compressed. The night before I stayed up until 3:50am and last night I stayed up until around 5:45am where I felt like I was straight up on the verge of dying with a pounding headache from frustration of trying to sleep, moving, to stomach being empty since I still aren't able to stomach much food from being sick the days prior which only makes me dread tonight but I'm going to try taking some melatonin gummies to see if they"ll help me sleep. I think my body got too used to being extremely high at night I have a friend who'd spend weeks at a time at my house and he'd wake me up for us to take dabs at random points of the night but regardless of the past, the only thing to do is focus on the present and bettering myself both physically and mentally.

While it has already been a pretty heavy mental tolling, what bothers me the most is physically getting double whammies in the digestive system both by the lack of THC and can't say it enough, STUPID stomach flu that put me out of commission for good for 2 heavy days which only feeds my anxiety more that later into the process, It'll become nearly unbearable to deal with it physically but I'm not going to feed it and I'll just have to wait and watch what happens, I don't want to overthink it and cause me more panic than I have already. When it comes to the mental toll, being in a different country with no family surrounding me aka support which makes it all this much harder and has only made me more depressed. Prior to getting high I didn't have high anxiety, depression at this level etc. I will give tribute to everything that's happened at home to developing those and getting high only fed it.

Today was my first day being fully sober, no edibles or a "puff" and surfing this forum I learned that it won't be a quick process and it definitely won't be mentally and physically painful at alll (Some much needed sarcasm during these times) so I really hope I can pull through this journey and become successful at fully quitting weed. While there are many journals/stories, One that has given me the biggest impact was one written by johnrlivingston which he actually created a new account following up on his journey and it's absolutely motivating.

I'm sorry if this is all a big ramble and doesn't make much sense but I needed to vent somewhere where others would understand and I'm very proud of those who have succeeded and continue to do so, Good night to all!