part of me is hiding my emotions

Its because You are afraid of reactions from people when You present any emotion. You are holding back everything because of this fear and ultimately You are again giving a bad impression of Yourself being sad. Liberate Yourself from fears. Make Your mind understand to stop worrying and be a free soul that does what it feels like.

josephandersn wrote:Its because You are afraid of reactions from people when You present any emotion. You are holding back everything because of this fear and ultimately You are again giving a bad impression of Yourself being sad. Liberate Yourself from fears. Make Your mind understand to stop worrying and be a free soul that does what it feels like.

People have told me that before but I know it's not fear and I know I'm not afraid of reactions from people.

Fear means you actually know what is going to happen as a result of your actions, and you don't want the result to happen. For example, I'm very scared of wasps, hornets and bees, and I get extremely nervous and shaky when I'm around them, and it's because they will sting me, which has happened to me before. In this case, I have no idea what would happen if I let go of things. The "other" part does not provide information as to why letting go is bad or will have bad results. There are no experiences I have (that I know of) on which to draw that fear. I know that it does not have bad results for other people either but I can't argue with the "other" part. It just makes my mind go blank. And it won't let go of anything, even to me. Even to me. How could I be afraid of a reaction from me?

Hi boggler,

Thanks for your story,

Love is the healing force, love dissolves fear. The key to loving yourself more is forgiveness. Someone has taught you to be afraid and if you forgive them you will be set free. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone what they did to you, it means that you are willing to change the way you feel about what they did. They were trying their best. They could not have taught you something that they did not know for their self's. Forgive yourself for any hurt that you might have caused others and yourself, you were trying your best. We all are.

You are at the perfect point of your evolutionary journey and you are changing. When you change with love in your heart all your changes will be for the better.

You can find more happiness by repeating affirmations

"I release fear, I now choose to love myself more, respect myself more, appreciate myself more and accept myself for who I am. I am powerful, capable and strong, I trust myself, I am safe, I am at peace with myself"

You could say this 100 times a day into a mirror, when you are out for a walk, lying in your bed, wherever, really soak it into your mind. You can live consistent happiness, you deserve to and you are asked to believe that fact before you can live it. I believe in you. Peace

Nobody has taught me to be afraid, Julius, and as I explained, I am not afraid. Fear is based on the experience of a bad result of actions. In my case, there is no bad result. Nor is there any external cause for this.
Nothing bad has ever happened to me from releasing emotions. (This is why I ignored an online therapist's advice that I should try desensitization. Desensitization only works when the reaction was based on bad results, or was an instinctive fear.). I can't release emotions. I would like to, and I try very hard, but I cannot. I can wholeheartedly recite Invictus to myself to temporarily stop the hiding-emotions crying, but that is temporary. It only distracts from the problem temporarily. And then the problem returns whenever I try to find my emotions, and there is no improvement. In fact, things have gotten worse- the "other" part has become more protective as I have tried to access my emotions more.

Hi boggler

Please forgive me if I misunderstood your original post. I am trying my best to be helpful, we are all trying our best.

Sometimes increasing happiness is not about trying harder it is about having the courage to let go. You are in a great position to do this because you are unafraid. Logically understanding consistent happiness, love and joy is straightforward. True happiness can only exist when we let go of our negative thought patterns. Which of these (if any) could you let go of?

Could you let go of anger?
Could you let go of blame?
Could you let go of jealousy?
Could you let go of sorrow?
Could you let go of tension?
Could you let go of guilt?
Could you let go of resentment?

As you can see, no-one could be truly happy whilst following thought patterns that stifle happiness. As I notice any of these thought patterns pop up, I just notice them and let them go and I say to myself

"I now choose consistently positive thought instead, I love myself and I approve of my self, I forgive myself for the negative thought of the past and I set myself free, I am a caring , loving human being"

I hope this helps, what do you think?

JuliusFawcett wrote:Hi boggler

Please forgive me if I misunderstood your original post. I am trying my best to be helpful, we are all trying our best.

Sometimes increasing happiness is not about trying harder it is about having the courage to let go. You are in a great position to do this because you are unafraid. Logically understanding consistent happiness, love and joy is straightforward. True happiness can only exist when we let go of our negative thought patterns. Which of these (if any) could you let go of?

Could you let go of anger?
Could you let go of blame?
Could you let go of jealousy?
Could you let go of sorrow?
Could you let go of tension?
Could you let go of guilt?
Could you let go of resentment?

As you can see, no-one could be truly happy whilst following thought patterns that stifle happiness. As I notice any of these thought patterns pop up, I just notice them and let them go and I say to myself

"I now choose consistently positive thought instead, I love myself and I approve of my self, I forgive myself for the negative thought of the past and I set myself free, I am a caring , loving human being"

I hope this helps, what do you think?

I think I haven't explained what "letting go" means - I mean letting go as in releasing or expressing, not just "outwards" but also in myself. But the problem is not to do with positive or negative thought processes, it's my inability to even find what I'm feeling or express it.

All feelings begin with thoughts. You could get more in touch with your feelings by soaking your mind with particular affirmations. This hypnosis could help

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGgnx4f0_zM


It may take a little more patience to change you current thought patterns, after all, how long have you been having those thoughts. Other thoughts you could repeat to yourself.

"I joyfully express my inner feelings, I consistently choose positive thoughts, I am free to experience joyful emotions, I can feel happiness"

Honestly and I say this with the deepest respect and care for you as a fellow human being, you say that it's not to do with positive or negative thought processes, but reading your posts it is absolutely clear that you could be much more positive. I believe you can find the feeling of consistent happiness in your life. I believe the solution is to open up to the idea that you can have those joyful feelings first. Open the door, you can do it, I believe in you.

Repeating affirmations to myself is something I already do to stop crying. Well actually it's not affirmations it's lines of poetry that I like. Like the last stanza of Invictus -
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

And that mostly takes away the crying temporarily by having something repetitive going on over and over in my mind in order to block out the emotional connection. So it has the complete opposite effect as what you are talking about but that's what I do when I don't want people to see me crying or the crying is just inconvenient in some way.[/i]

How are your affirmations different from these affirmations?

"I joyfully express my inner feelings, I consistently choose positive thoughts, I am free to experience joyful emotions, I can feel happiness"

My "affirmations" are not very different from yours but they serve a different purpose because instead of bringing me closer to being able to express emotions they take me farther away from it by filling my mind with repetitive memorized words that distract me from the actual problem of not being able to find or express emotions, which takes away the crying temporarily so that I can escape the situation of having to explain to someone why I am crying and "No I am not sad, Stop asking, and go away."

Have you tried the ones I have written?

"I joyfully express my inner feelings, I consistently choose positive thoughts, I am free to experience joyful emotions, I can feel happiness"

I mean really soak your mind in them

or you could try this hypnosis I wrote

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGgnx4f0_zM

I hope this helps. Peace and love

I watched part of the video but I don't know how to change things from just a series of words to "soaking my mind into them". I kind of know what you mean but I don't know how to get there.

But this still doesn't seem like it would help. The problem is that there is a giant wal' between me and the ability to find or express my emotions. And positive thoughts can't dissolve that wall because the wall isn't made of negative thoughts, fear, anxiety, or sadness (the main things that people assume this problem to be).

It's about a willingness to change, soaking your mind in thoughts of openness and love will open you up more, allow you to feel more.

Here's another video I made that will help you to understand what soaking your mind and willingness to change means.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6vx8GZ-Ok4

What I'm talking about is breaking that wall down brick by brick, thought by thought. The bigger the wall the more loving and opening and expressive the thoughts are that will break it down. It will come down if you would like it to come down, believing that it will come down is important. The more energy and enthusiasm you pump in to each brick dissolving thought the faster its destruction will be.

Visualising the wall in your mind with a big pulsing heart of love just visable behind it. Imagine you will a crane and a demolishing ball swinging joyfully into the wall with passion and enthusiasm, see shafts of bright white light pouring from the ever enlarging gaps broken in the wall and then look down at your torso and see a similar bright light pattern breaking through from your insides.

I hope this helps, peace, love and harmony.

But I've tried so hard to do that, to be willing to change, to break down the wall with all the enthusiasm and effort I can possibly put into it, but all that happens is that I cry and my mind goes blank and then I dehydrate myself by crying. I'm even crying while I type this.