What response should I choose?

They mock you to get a reaction. When you get angry, it gives them what they want. If you want to be the better person, just move on with your life. Use your time focused on more important things.

weiming23 wrote:many people mock me around. Should I get angry to know any boundary or stay calm. If I stay calm, they keep mock me around. If I fight, it's destroying our mind, cause angry is not a good thing.

We only get angry at hurtful things people say if at some level we think they're right. Self-esteem is the issue here. When you know they're wrong about you, you can ignore the mocking. There's no need to get angry. You can just smile and walk away.

Thank You. What you're all say was true. They're all also have their own problem with others. Easy being influenced, and get angry between each other.

If we say about self-esteem, yes. Maybe I lack that one. Actually it's root comes from my job. Right now, I'm standing to a place which I dislike about the job(it's family job) and my family like to give negative influence. How do I survive positive things and keep self-esteem up high? it's still hard to me for decide what kind of job should I do, cause I choose too much.

Actually, I want to be a motivator. But I still have doubt and don't know how to reach there. Any suggestion please? thank you

Dear Mr. Weiming,

Hmmmm… let me think about this. You are in the Family Business and the Employees mock you. Honestly? What kind of Family Business is it where as a Member of the Family you can’t just say “hey, BOYS, fun is fun, but it is also patently disrespectful, and huge waste of Company Time. So if the Disrespectful ‘fun’ continues, from whoever it comes from, I’ll write it up as a Cause for Termination. You’ll get One Warning Write-Up, and then you’ll get Fired… out the Door. There are Thousands of People who would be more than Glad to have your Old Job, at half of what we are paying you….” Or something like that. If you Family will not support you on this, ask them why they think you should be wasting your Life with a Dead End ‘Family’ Job, where you are not allowed any Responsibility.

Getting a New Job would solve a lot of problems though. And, no, unless you have the brazen confidence of a Peacock, you shouldn’t try to be a Motivation Speaker. Those Guys make a living by Projecting Confidence, and if they were tell you that the Sky is Red and the Grass is Blue, you’d believe it…. Or at least look out the window to check and make sure…. I don’t think you are quite at Level of c**k Sureness yet. You can practice by getting your employees to Believe that you really Could and Would Fire them.

Anyway, I DO admire you for just Taking It. Other, Lesser Men, would get Angry and cause a Big Scene. I like how you stay calm. You are an Inspiration to all of us People here who Do have serious Anger issues, and who are, of course, dealing with them.

Thank you Mr Leo Volent for your admiration. But what you say is halfly true. The one who mock me here is my friends, not my employee. But, on the other hands, what I dislike is my father likes to insult in front of other employees. As I have position above employee and below my father directly as a boss. Well, you can say my position is Boss Assistant.

So, we're opening electronic store. Well, this store is belong to my father, and I just continue his efforts, because there will be no ancestor except me. What I dislike about the job is when I enjoy "the challenge itself" when serve my customer about buying things, my father TOOK IT OVER and SERVE BY MYSELF. Because of this, "I LACK OF EXPERIENCE" and I'm 25! I feel terrible about myself, therefore I think I want to find work by myself. Is it a right decision?

NB: Sorry, I don't know what is c**k phrase. c**k?

weiming23 wrote:NB: Sorry, I don't know what is c**k phrase. c**k?

Oh! "c**k Sure" is a wonderful old English Colloquialism. It refers to the way a barnyard Rooster, you know, a Male Chicken, the Way they Strut head up straight and proud around the Farm... and the way they take it upon themselves to Wake Everyone up in the Morning with their catch phrase "Cockadodle-Do". the Phrase has no sordid or profane meaning... one can use the phrase with Children, though some of the naughty children may giggle a bit.

Hmmmm, but about your Serious Business.... it is tempting to Stay with the Store, since it will someday be yours, but you should discuss, calmly with your Father your dilemma, that you would Like to Stay, BUT, the constant humiliation he dumps on you is growing intolerable. the Older you Get, the More intolerable it all becomes.

Now I can see your Father Swooping in and shoving you aside so that he can deal with an Old Customer -- somebody he has always dealt with and who expects to be served by your Father. But a new and strange Customer comes through the door, well, you deserve First Shot if you were standing their ready for action. Now, yes, your father can get between the Customer and the door, and if the customer turns to go away without buying anything, well, Then, you father can jump in and save the sale. Yes, you got to get this 'squared away' with your father.

Oh, YOUR FRIENDS humiliate you. Maybe my English is a bit different from your English, but where I come from we use the word Enemy for that kind of acquaintance. But with 'Friends' like that, well, I guess you don't need any Enemies.
You need to stop taking their calls. you need to nod at them in passing and move on. As the Victorians would say, you need to 'cut' them.... that is, drop them from your Personal Societyl Make new friends. Even I am able to make friends, and I am kind of stuffy....

Oh, let me know if you have any questions about my colloquialisms and local English usages. I was studying French for the longest time and the hardest part was catching the sense of the 'common saying' that are so confusing if taken literally but once you know what they mean, they are a lot of fun.

Hi MR Leo, sorry to just reply your message. Cause I'm busy recently.

Yes, what you say is true about 'squared away'. I have told my father, and looks like it goes pretty well.

Btw, I use 'friends', cause in fact they're all my best friends from high students. I don't use word 'enemies' cause there will be REJECTION in my mind, and it's not good I think. Cause we could learn much from everyone, either we got experience, or we got a real friends.

About 'common saying', maybe I must sharpen my English more. I'm from Indonesia. We weren't taught about that 'common saying'. I must learn a lot from you Mr Leo. So where should I begin about this 'common saying'?

When we choose forgiveness instead of fighting, initially the situation can become more challenging, and that soon dissolves into a much more enjoyable experience of the world.