OKAY, firstly am I using this site correctly? Is this what the site is for or am I confused?
Alright, before I type anything about my problem/issue. I am not taking drugs, I'm not drunk. I can't get help right now with the virus and everything. I also feel like none will respond so I don't understand why I'm trying this.
Also, excuse my kinda awful grammar, and sometimes there might be a word that's not supposed to be in the sentence or I might miss a whole word.
Now that, that is said:
When I was about 11-12 years old I saw white floating faces. Only two, the first time when I was walking the dog and looked up at my mom's dead friend's apartment window. I wanted to throw up when I saw the face and I just felt so stressed. This was a few days after my mom's friend got killed. Then again when I was 12 at my father's house. It was 3 AM, I was walking downstairs and saw a different white floating face in the dark smiling at me, I immediately ran upstairs again and never said anything to anyone.
I used to see my dead cat sitting at our stairs for a month after he passed. I always ran past our stairs, I can't sleep in a dark room if I do, always stare at the wall for the whole night because I feel watched even if I know that there is none there. I also saw shadows at times.
I was diagnosed with PTSD at 15 among other things. The rest isn't important. I never mentioned that to a therapist because I thought I was just being a stupid kid with weird imagination. Then at 17 as I was walking I thought I saw someone as I blinked none was there. I freaked out a bit, I'm 100% sure that if it was a real person they had nowhere to go except straight forward for while. then the usual, thinking I saw a shadow while there is nothing there.
Then at 18 which is now. ((I had no neighbors at the time)) I started to hear seeing things in the dark/sounds. Like someone was unlocking my door at 2 AM when I checked it was nothing I heard that many times at night for a whole week. I also thought I saw a shadow of a hand touching some flowers in the stairwell from the peephole. I even opened my door to check and none was there. I stayed awake the whole night sitting by my door while crying.
Another night I thought a girl was crying in the stairwell, I didn't open the door, I just held my door handle tightly until the sun came up. I hate being home alone because I think I hear things so I have to put on headphones and listen to loud music, it makes it a little easier to ignore my paranoia or what to call it.
I also heard a woman say something in my living room as I was heading upstairs. I was home alone and my tv wasn't on, no window was open. When I heard it, I got extremely anxious and tried to play it off as nothing to myself.
((Heard a kid laugh downstairs as well once.))
Another time my cat was meowing loudly and I went over to him and shushed him, right after I heard someone in my ear go "Shhh" It sounded so real. like someone was standing right next to me. I froze and just stood there while my heart raced. (I was home alone at that time.)
This is all I can remember. This is all just bothering me, I feel like there is something wrong with me. Could it just be my PTSD? should I have posted this in the PTSD topic instead??
Saying this once again I'M NOT ON DRUGS NOR AM I DRUNK.