I have been experiencing anxiety as a result of past hypnosis. Certain suggestions implanted in the past keep cropping up (like an obsession) but I resist them because they are at odds with my personality and contrary to my objectives in life. Even though I resist the suggestions, they keep coming back. This is distracting and stressful. It creates a kind of cognitive dissonance. What is the best course of action for me?
A few years ago, I submitted to numerous online hypnosis sessions (some video and some audio) for the purpose of erotic pleasure. The submission to these videos and the adulteration of my own mind became a pleasurable sort of indulgence, and a kind of exploration. I watched these videos the way many people watch pornography. I don't want to mention the specific suggestions, because they're quite embarassing.
I've always had a bit of anxiety, so the psychology starts getting complicated here. For instance, it's possible that my anxiety simply brings up this past hypnosis as an example of something to be anxious about (in the way you might approach a girl and feel a general nervousness which is only afterwards linked to a specific worry). Anyway, I find that I can't stop worrying that this past hypnosis has interfered with my ability to be cool, objective, and reasonable.
What do?