HELP!!

hope for my life wrote:Hi,

This is my second time posting on here and still looking for answers...
Briefly I'm 25 and was badly abused when a child. I can't really face up to it or deal with it, which would be ok, but...
I really struggle through life- I have no confidence, one friend in 10 years, can't deal with work or have relationships. This isn't good but the worst part is...
I feel so awful all the time, depressed, anxious and miserable terrified really and detached with no real interest in my life at all
So, what I need is a way to feel better, but I can't deal with normal counselling etc. as it makes me get traumatised and crazy and I can't cope with it.
What I really need is a gentler way of healing, not sure what.
Does anybody out there know of some gentle healing for trauma? Maybe I do need to work through it someday but it's impossible.

Thank you,
Hope

It's impossible only if you believe it to be. Counseling isn't supposed to be some gentle healing process; especially with trauma. Sometimes it gets tougher before it gets better. Actually, if you find that counseling is bringing up a lot of uncomfortable feelings, then it may be an indicator of things improving. I would encourage continued counseling, medicine and continued work on self. Find a thearpist that specializes in trauma/ptsd/CBT.

This is not impossible to overcome but you will benefit from beginning to put your trust into the very people that deal with this for a living. I think you are already more capable than you think yourself because:
1. your name is empowering (hope for my life)
2. you have tried counseling
3. while you haven't found success yet, you are advocating for an alternative approach. Though I disagree with the approach, you aren't afraid to speak up.
4. You have posted again despite not getting an answer your were looking for (or no answer at all)..again very empowering.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."

Please consider re-engaging with therapy. You may have to consult with a variety of different therapists before you arrive at one that works for you. Just remember, being uncomfortable may be necessary as it's a sign of facing your past. "Avoidance" is very very common with people of past abuse and it's about learning to be assertive and not being avoidant of thoughts, people, situations and other triggers to prevent from thinking of your past.

I hope this helps.

You've posted in the practitioners' lounge, which is probably not the best place for someone seeking help. Have you heard of EMDR - eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing? It's a technique using eye movement (following a hand movement with the eyes while thinking about certain events in order to perceive them differently) which has been advocated for victims of trauma.

I hesitate to recommend it, or any practitioner specifically because it is relatively new has to be used with caution (choose a properly accredited and insured practitioner), but it might be worth investigating. It sounds as though your problems needs breaking down into bite-sized chunks. I know it can seem overwhelming, but it is achievable.

I can't yet post links, so please google emdr association and follow the link. They should be able to point you in the right direction. When you read the areas it's used for, you'll see why I suggested it.

Perhaps revisit the GP and see whether some medication would help relieve you of your symptoms in the immediate and medium term so you can feel a bit better while you find this other help too. I think of it like using pain killers while doing physio so you can feel comfortable enough to exercise and mend your problem body part.

Finally, some hypnotherapy for relaxation and building your confidence could be a way forward. Maybe as a 'nice to have' after the other things are in place.

Hope this is helpful.

Hi I'm a practitioner of gentle therapies that can really help you and I have a lot of experience in this area. I'm new to the forum but you can message me if you like.

I'm trained in something called Thought Field Therapy to Voice Technology level which means I can treat someone anywhere in the world over a phone or Skype connection. It's bespoke to you and its simple in its method and highly effective.

Try something simply right now, rate one of your issues, the one upsetting you most as you think about it right now, on a scale of 1-10, (10 being the worst it can be) where would you pitch the level of this issue as you're thinking about it now.

Where in your body do you feel it, if you could put your hand on a part of the body you are feeling the emotional content of the issue, where is that.
Notice any characteristics of it, is is dark, light, does the emotion have a colour? Is it heavy? Notice all you need to notice to get the full measure of it.

Then I want you to tap the side of your hand as if you are Karate chopping into the palm of the other hand, 30x, then tap the final third of your index finger (the side facing you), then under your nose, then under your bottom lip, then under your nose, then the other index finger side, then the other hand's side of hand like you did at the beginning. Do each tapp 30 times,

then tap 7 times - :both eye brow points where they begin (from the centre of forehead) tap where your eyebrows begin, then under each eye simultaneously, then just under both collarbone knuckles, then under the eyes again, then the outseide corners of the eyes, then wrap your arms around you and tap under the arms where a the bra is, then both collarbone knuckles under those again.

Now rate the number. It should have gone down quite a lot. Refocus ON WHAT YOU WERE FOCUSSING ON TO TREAT IN FIRST INSTANCE (important to do this becasue if your thoughts shift then you are chasing other thoughts, stay focussed on one thing till its treated), then I want you to keep doing that sequence until its come right down.

There maight be releases of emotion or sighs, or yawns.

Go with it. If you have any problems then contact be by message and I can help you further.
DIane Beck, Im a professional therapist for health-success.co.uk