The way it will always be?

Hi dude
Although I don't suffer in the same way or to the same extent you do I found myself asking a similar question to this forum a few weeks ago: is this the best I can expect? Will I ever find a permanent solution to this? (I wish I could give you a yes or no to this, but there wasn't one!) Like you I was put on Fluoxatine (prozac) by my doctor when things were really bad, but unlike you I seemed to respond ok on this medication and once my mental barriers were back up after a respite I took myself off it again. However, my depression is still there, lurking away just waiting for me to give it a chance and that is why I started writing here.

I cannot remember what it feels like to be perfectly normal either, and really there can be no such thing as perfectly normal, but I know what you mean! How do those people who seem happy and content all the time manage it? I still don't have the answer to this one but after reading many replies on this site and others one thing seems clear: different solutions suit different people and some people are naturally skilled in this area and some aren't. Don't stop looking, asking for help, doing your own research and working towards finding the best fit for you whether it be drugs, therapy, sport, or whatever, something out there will help. The goal is not necessarily to feel perfectly normal (I'm not even sure I would know if I got there, so this wouldn't be a good aim for me), but instead to find the thing which moves you towards this feeling.

I'm still searching for the ideal solution for me, and maybe I always will, but it keeps me going.

I'm glad to see you here discussing. For a long time I tried to sort myself out, coming up with different solutions and home grown self help - it has only been when I've started to discuss and open up to the many ideas from others that I've realised the solutions I come up with are still within my depressive way of thinking and my even exacerbate it in a subtle and conniving way. Until I looked out of that pit at the world of potential solutions and help out there, as well as the enormous amount of support in forums like this, I didn't start to make progress, to break out of my own issues. One way of looking at it is that it's bad when your in the sh**, but better if you've got someone to talk to who's in there too!

Keep searching and good luck!

hello there.

look i fully understand what your saying. recently my gp told mei might have to start considering the idea that i may always need medication to get by.

this shock me, im 27 and have been in a depressed state since i was 8 or 9, its been around so long im not sure who i am and cant remember what it feels like to be "normal". but heres the thing i want no part of "normal",i decided recently that for me fighting this thing (depression) is pointless so insdead im trying to understand it.

what i have learnt so far is that im not a bad person im just me. i listern to music with passhion and feel the depression allows me to understand it in a way other people cant, now i not saying im better im just trying to say that for me even in depression there is good.

all of us depressed people that post or read this site have things in common were here and were still trying and just so long as we dont give up im sure we will get there. now im not saying that the end result is a cure infact for many of us it might not be, whats important is were trying, we are strong and we arnt alone.

i know its hard to believe but we are all strong, for myself i live with deep depression and high anxiety but i still get up, i still try to live my life. i cant always function and somethimes the gole is to just get through the day, and with out sounding cheesy "i choose life" and i will choose it every day.

maybe i will have to accept that nervious breakdowns will continue to be part of my life, but its my life and im keeping it.

i wish you luck and hope you keep going

and to every one else out there be cool.

G

Great view george! Saying that even in depression there is some good and in your case you feel it fuels deeper understanding is an inspiring thought. Without the full range of the mental spectrum this world would be a much worse place - the list of geniuses, artists, leaders etc. who could not be called mentally 'normal' is very long. Perhaps acceptance is one way to win the fight...you've got me looking for the positive side for sure.

wow.

im so glad you like the post.

im sure if you look hard enough you can see that good comes from all things.

guess its easyier for me to see this as im dyslexic my spelling is very poor and it takes me ages to read anything, but im good at other things. i love music and art and try to play the guitar. i cant spell very well but my maths are very good.

im usd to people not understanding me or they way i think but im sure that good things come out of everything though sometimes its hard to see them.

be cool.

G

Thanx a lot guys, it always means a lot to know that somebody has gone through the same feelings and thoughts. I was having a particuarly bad day yesterday when I posted that, I'm much better now. My GP says it's not a permenant thing for me, it's just my body reacting exactly the way it should do when all my feelings have been bottled up for so long. It was so bad yesterday I went to the emergency room (again) just to calm myself down. I now know that the more I feel like I'm losing my mind the more sane I really am. After all, if I was insane, I wouldn't even be questioning my own sanity! I'm on new pills now to put my thinking in perspective and I start counselling in a feww weeks. I should be able to go back to school this september with a bit of luck. Cheers.

PS: I also play guitar and love music / art etc. I think depression is merely a symptom of people who think too much lol.

hi again.

im glad your feeling better, it can be good to talk or mabe just vent somtimes.

and yes you maybe right thinking too much could be bad but at the same time no thinking, well thats not living.

G