Self Esteem and Anxiety

Seems like you are on a decent track with CBT sessions.

What I read in what you have written is "for some time" and "I was always". There is a conflict between how you see yourself today, verses how you see your past self. When exactly was that past self? When you were 35, 36?

It could be one major event or memory that degraded your self-perception to take on a challenge, or maybe it was a series of smaller events that shifted your evaluation of self. Maybe you took a promotion or moved to a new environment where your self-image of someone to take on a challenge changed to being a person unworthy of being trusted.

Hey there, I've dealt with anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation for over 20 years of my life, and continue to make progress (am functional now, working 20 hours a week and going to school to finish my degree). At the end of this post is something you can do RIGHT NOW to get started on solving your issue.

[b]The key to making sure we find what will help you is to acknowledge all the possibilities first, which may be overwhelming, but will empower you in the end.[/b]

Be assured, there are literally only 10 possible reasons why you may be where you are. That being said, these go hand in hand. if you systematically look for the answer, you will find it.

Below is what I believe to be every possible reason you may be experiencing what you are experiencing. This is based on science and experience. The key is to pick one to explore, and WRITE DOWN a schedule to investigate in it. The search for answers will keep you motivated, and turn you into a very strong person.


MENTAL - PHYSICAL

1. Past traumatic experiences
2. Irrational Beliefs about yourself.

That's it. In terms of the mental, it literally couldn't possibly be anything else. I can guarantee anything you find in respects to mentality (painful memories, harmful thoughts, etc) all go back to one of these two things, or both.

PHYSICAL (based off of Joe Cohen's research - selfhacked. com)

3. Diet
- Food allergies
-
4. Lack of sleep
5. Lack of sunlight exposure
6. Unhealthy circadian rhythm
7. Excess stress
8. Lack of healthy stress
9. Toxins in the body
10. Inflammation in the body.

So once again, take heart. If you systematically investigate each one of these areas of your life, you WILL gradually improve once you find the biggest influencers

WHAT TO DO TO START BEING HAPPIER:

1) Pick One or two of these to research, schedule a time to look into them (half hour a day-1 hour a day),

2) journal what you find. School yourself. Your lack of knowledge is what kills you. Not the anxiety disorder itself.

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR RESOURCES:

PHYSICAL CAUSES OF ANXIETY/DEPRESSION - self hacked website (search in google. can't post URL here)

MENTAL CAUSES -
- Eckhart Tolle's The Power of now book,
- Mindfulness in plain english pdf - search for it in google

A lot of information here, if you have any questions about how specifically to go about attacking the issues, let me know.

Jake.