fear of public speaking & social phobia

Oh, I forgot to mention that in the past I was always on the stage performing - singing, dancing, playing piano, acting in plays ... So it's even a bit more strange that now there is such a terrible fear within me. I always feel it in the area of solar plexus at first, then my heart begins to rage and then I can't breathe and can't think and I tremble as crazy and then I'm afraid that everybody would see this (eventually they do, cause it's so obvious ). And then I feel this urge to escape - I never do. Just stay there, feeling humiliated, a failure.

Hey Ulla,
Well.. See, me ljust like u have different problems or better to say had because now i m struggling with them although it is hard but that is life and it wont get better unless we fight with problems..just like u i have fear of speaking in public...just like u my heart beats so fast in front of public...just like u in past my hands usesd to tremble while eating food in front of others view ... So if u feel u really cant help urself u need to see a good psychologist as i did ..See i had a problem of very bad fear of public even while going to a shop for buying small thing i had fear and stress and also as mentioned before my hands started to trembel while waned to eat somthing in front of somebody..more awful than what u are and i really tried alot to help myself but couldnt( i had depression too because all these problems made me get depressed and hopeless),so searched alot to find good doctor and found ..he gave me medicines for my hands trembling ..for my really bad fear ..and i took all those pills and after some weeks everything turned to get better. now i dont have tremble and also really less amount of fear and i can manage my fear in public much better than past and i dont take pills anymore ..but i used to take them for about a year and gradually doctor decreased them:D .U also can..so dont worry ..if u really have a will to get rid of ur fear u will get but as any other effort it takes time, Dont have doubt..God will give to whome really "want"!! Now See sth...last year i was 1ed year student university and the professor said all u have to give a presentation..we had some months time and during all these 4-5 month all nights that i remembered that i have to give presentation at the end of semester i felt a bad fear .. but all these months passed and then the time of giving presentation arrived..it was about a week before presentation..at that time i was really busy with doing some project and also was busy for gathering information for my presentation So i was so busy and tired to think about that and also because of my mom illness i hadnt time to prepare for it completely sooner than 2 days before..and u know what happened.. for first time in my life i was really relaxed because all fear is in ur mind and if u can manage it then it is solved but it is hard i accept..and while my confidant freinds had fear for give conferance i was calm and told them dont think about it...something will happen atlast.. And also i have freind which gave me hints the day before it ...firstly he said about his own presentations from the first time that he gave presentation till the last time he said all have fear in first presentation less or more but all have..He said if u have notes of what u want to say then u can look at them while u forget something, and if u cant remember something and u get feared of what people will think u can say them easily with kidding that u have Alzimer and u cant remeber and then try to remember, or if u get nervous u can easily say u r nervous today abit and then laugh abit at urself..So the day started and i had to give presentation ..now i had stress but could see others have more stress and all people came to give conferance really were nervous at first but after a while u could see like they have gotten used to standing in front of people they got calmer and more confidant!! So all were going in rows but suddenly proffessor said who want to go now..then nobody answered then i thought if i really want to get rid of this stress i must go quickly and also bec i answered yes and nobody answered like that i found more belief in myself and went to blackboard ..still i had some fear ..it was my first presentation anyhow in my whole life and also i had problem of fear of speaking in public too..At first my voice was ambiguous but after a while i saw that some power is helping me ..i really could felt my tone of voice is going up and down as i was practicing the last night (but abit worse)at home in front of mirror and also i had good body language like i could moved my hands while defining(See..i think my practice in front of mirror with confidance helped me alot..), and i can remember while expressing some article some boy started to laugh at me in short voice because i was moving my hands and my voice going up and down i guess, but i even cant believe now that at that time i saw they laugh but really it wasnt important for me what others think and i just was in other world and just tried to do my best ..many a times i fogot sth but i stopped and took a look at my notes and then again started to speak..and u cant belive when the presentation finished the professor said it was excellent.. i really couldnt believe that, bec he didnt say excellent to anybody else than me!!(even to some great presentations and students better than me!!) and my friends all said u were marvalllous while they themselves were confidant in real life more than me but not in presentatiion, so i think u have to be relaxed and busy and tired enough with ur jobs and life and dont think much and request from God to help u ..to really help u and he will...I know u will do well as i did and maybe much better!! I will wish u tonight really get successfull, u wish me too.

Thnx, dear Sh, for your answer. I'm desperately seeking for help but I know, it's me, and me only, that pulls all the strings. Congrats for your success!!! You gave me hope.
I'm meeting my psychiatrist for the first time on Tuesday. I hope, she will be able to help me, more than some people in the past. But I am not very comfortable with drugs. 3 years ago, I think, I was taking prozac and later switched to zoloft, and medications didn't help much. And there were too many side effects I decided that I don't want to take any anymore. I don't know what to do now if my new psy prescribes me medications. I managed to beat anorexia and bulimia without them, however, the attacs of depression and FEAR remain. What do you think?
I'm waiting for D-day to come ... and slowly going crazy. I have to start practising. But the most of the time I just worry and my heart starts beating madly when I only think of this presentation. On the other hand, I miss the feeling I had in the past when I was on the stage. Isn't that a paradox?
Keep your fingers crossed for me on Thursday, please!
I will let you know how it went.
Take care,
Ulla9

Hi Ulla9

See ..About taking drug must tell u anyhow they have side-affects like getting sleepy and mixed somehow.. I used to use xanax for my stress
and Clitalopram for my depresssion.. So i also got very sleepy while i had
my final exams but i saw that they gives me more happiness and calmness
so i can study better and therefore i beared them and still i have to take half of xanax as my doctor has suggested but i stoped that because now after a year i think i can and must manage
my stress and fear with my own ability & thoughts and must not be dependant to drugs anymore..but before i couldnt manage so drugs really helped me at that time..now i try to be busy enough and happy as i can with any little thing that dont let depressin and fear come back...Sometimes i feel both them but now that is bearable..So ur drug as i searched was also for depression and anxiety, But i dont know much about their side-effects.. but i think if they really have much side-effects u can tell ur doctor and she can change them.. So dont fear ..I also just like u searched for a good doctor very desperatly but i had to do that and at last found after going to many doctors..


So Try to start managing ur brain..And try to avoid thinking of fear whereas u know giving presentation has really stress but believe me if u take it easy u will be easier at the pres-day too..


I also hope ur doctor can help u this time..


I wished u good luck and also will wish u good luck for Thursday..
Take care and try to think less..i know it is hard but u just try..step by step
situation will get better..Be patient.

smiles;
sh.

HI

So, you were/are satisfied with xanax? And had no problems with side effects? You said you were sleepy. I cannot afford to be sleepy cause I need to be alert and concentrated when working. Do you drink coffee? I read in dozens of articles about public speaking that drinking coffee is not good cause it causes trembling. Indeed, I tremble a lot. But I cannot quit drinking coffee just like that. I love it and I need it. However, if it is absolutely necessary, then I will replace it with green tea or sth. Oh, and trembling. That is one of my worse fears. That people would notice it and then I start trembling even more. I think too much, don't I?

I have big problems with controlling my thoughts. How did you manage that? Thoughts are raging through my mind as crazy. And they are mostly negative. This vicious inner voice of mine It discourages me. Do you have any special technique? The worse thing is that I turn good or neutral things to negative, to my enemies. Which consequently damage my selfesteem even further.

Thnx for replying and have a nice sunny day

Ulla

Hey Ulla..
So what did your doctor say to you??
Could she help you ?? Wish so..

So See there is some thing..Never feel that you cant do anything even in very bad condition be confidant, even in depressing moment earch for new
ways, That is the only key..Try to think you can manage your works and problems even if they go bad..See about me i always when encounter with a
problem and get really hopeless I think even if i lose my everything and
everybody i have great God and He will help me! that really give me big
amount of hope..

See..for managing my mind i dont have any technique but i try to make my
mind to think in the way i want ..it may not work many atimes but believe me after some time your brain will addapt new situation much better..just dont get disapointed..That is it..

I also still fight with managing my brain but i do have seen improve in my
thinking but still need alot to improve..That is life..life is fight for ever..
But we can enjoy it also..Must find the way..Must find the way

So hope Ur Thurs presentation will be as good as mine ..See i was also a frightened person in the public but i could..Ask from God and he will
give u more energy..

Take care and keep up writing to me
Be successfull;
Best wishes with smiles,
Sh.

I didn't think xanax was for public speaking? Fair enough if you have general anxiety or social disorder. But I would have thought there were more effective ways to cure the public speaking, suffering from the same problem I've recently been looking into solutions. To me it looks like Inderal is the best option(although it will only affect the physical symptons, shakey voice, sweating, blushing etc), I'm scared to go see my doctor about it though yeah I know how retarded is that...

Other than that Kava Kava is a herbal supplement that I've been told works well, although there have been some studies about the safety of Kava I still believe it is worth a try if you need a cure as from what I've seen the claims on Kava being dangerous are flawed seriously.

The other option would be hypnosis, which I guess is one of the best options because it will cure the problem in your own mind rather than making you rely on medication. Hope that helps.

No way, I tried that a couple weeks ago - sat through two sessions and really tried to except the suggestions. Nothing!! If anything, now I am thinking more about this issue, which of course is making it worse. I am at a loss for words...

Unfortunately I have no time to write now. Just want to say that keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow at noon. I practised but we will see how it goes.

I will write you as soon as possible!

Take care ...

Ulla

Yeah, Fingers are crossed!
Good Luck.

So Ulla how was ur feeling in Thursday ??
Anything happened to u just write for me, I like to know..

Smiles;
Sh.

Hi!

Finally I got an oportunity to write about my "Thursday experience". I practised and practised and practised by myself, in front of the mirror, in front of my friend ... But still was afraid because I didn't know how everything would go. On D-day the phones didn't stop ringing. Everybody wished me luck and said they believed in me. Well, that didn't help much. But my practising DID! I felt more secure about everything I was saying, about the way I was presenting ...
The commission was ... hm ... strict and meticulous. But I was prepared for every possible situation or question. They did not confuse me. I was nervous at the beginning, my voice trembled a bit, my hands too. But I think, others did not really notice this. I've been there for an hour!
I think, I managed my fear because I had to concentrate on WHAT I was saying and not on HOW it was said. This HOw had already been taken care of during preparations, so I only had to think on the subject.
My aids: chocolate, warm! water (I constantly had dry mouth), half a pill of bromazepam.
And it really worked. And most importantly, I myself began to believe, it would all go well!
So, I've graduated
Thanks for all the support, Sh! I don't want to spoil this post with comments about my visit to the doctor. So, I'll write this in the second one.
Ulla

Hey Ulla,

I've graduated

CONGRATULATIONS! You've done really well!

Hey Ulla..
Congradulations!!
U really made me happy..



So u have done great job.. But now u must start managing ur whole life as
u managed ur presentation.. And just like how u could do well in presentation
u also can do well in ur life and i think the only thing it needs is exercise and courage.. I really feel u as myself and me as u.. Bec maybe we both
are in improving way..So the matter is we must try and dont think about how
hard is the way and i bet one day we can be much more better or better to say great people But we must not forget it needs a real effort and strong will.


Wish u great..
Take care and bye.
Sh