I need help :(

**Posts:** 1 · by **staystrongskyscraper** » Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:33 pm

I don't think I have an eating disorder, but I know I have a problem.

It started last year, my first year at college. I was under a lot of stress, and I was so obsessed with not gaining the Freshman weight. I'm a perfectionist, like I'm sure many of you are, and I didn't want to get fat. So I stopped eating. I would go sometimes two days without eating, and then when I felt like I was going to pass out, I would eat something small. By the second semester, I met the man who is now my boyfriend of six months. He told me that if I didn't eat that he wouldn't eat. I wanted him to be healthy so that got me eating again. I haven't had a problem again until now.

I'm on my second year of college, and majoring in music therapy so I know all about eating disorders and how important it is to have mental health. My boyfriend and I starting working out and counting calories to make sure we were staying healthy, but I would always intake less than I was supposed to. There was one comment made that I don't think had anything to do with it, but if it helps you help me why not share? My mom told me last week that I was starting to gain a "pouch." Now, I am at a healthy weight for my height. I'm very short though, so whatever weight I have is noticeable. Teasing like this is common in my family, and I can handle a comment here or there. This past week, though, I've found myself wanting to slip back into old habits. Part of me says "hey you can't eat that, you're going to get more fat than you already are" while the rational part of me says "hey, shut up, I don't want to deal with you right now and I will eat what I want." Sometimes that other "voice" (I don't hear voices or anything, I just don't know how to explain it) gains control, and that's when it's hard to eat. I don't count calories anymore because I'm afraid I would start intaking less and less.

I just really don't know what to do. It's so hard to keep control and tell myself that I'm going to eat whatever I feel like. I hate food, and I hate eating. Yes, I do like the flavor of food, but it's the enemy here. If we didn't have to eat, I wouldn't have a problem. Please help me gain some understanding of what the hell is going on in my brain.

**Posts:** 14140 · by **jurplesman** » Sat Oct 20, 2012 3:12 am

Hi staystrongskyscraper,

Most eating problems start off by being concerned about putting on too much weight. But putting on weight is not necessarily because you eat too much, but rather that you may have insulin resistance that is shared in obesity and depression. Read:

Eating Disorders: Anorexia and Bulimia

and discuss with your doctor.

**Posts:** 4 · by **dylan** » Sat Oct 27, 2012 5:38 am

Hi, new here. Interested in helping people out and what it is that truly bothers people.

I thought I could start by sharing my own experience with unhealthy eating. As a kid, I had a peculiar tendency to eat only noodles. I don't know what was up with that. I hadn't eaten a salad until I was 17 -- and that was weird.

I had some pretty awful acne problems, I suppose my bodies preferred way to deal with stress and poor nutrition.

I haven't quite the same experience with gaining weight, but I have felt extremely bloated and sick after overeating in seeming ludicrous ways. I have eaten entire boxes of cereal for meals or as a constant snack.

A couple of things I could mention straight away that I assume to be true and my own personal corrections:

When your body doesn't receive enough calories, and then it consumes high-calorie foods like fats, sweets, (I guess cereal lol). It is sort of a natural reaction to want to consume as many calories as possible.

----Correction: Try to eat smaller portions of less calorie dense foods several times a day.

Also, cravings could easily be related to a lack of nutrition. Which remains an overall mystery to me -- supplements allude me and how much I need of what is just confusing.

----Correction: I kinda went crazy with this and got into "the raw food movement" for several months. This overall was quite good for me as I regained a lot of health and clarity. For you, I would try just eating some plain Spinach regularly

As for taste, I've recently gotten into putting hot sauce on my foods, it can really curb your appetite at times. I've had a lot of fun eating my food and being burning up and having to put it down, take a break, and drink some water.

Also, I've heard of the concept of eating in order to feel "satisfied." Finding satisfaction in other areas of your life could help you as well.

I'll try to sum this up into some small tips that you can try.

1: Eat smaller meals more frequently throughout the day.
2: Add more fruits and vegetables to your diet, try eating greens like spinach straight and feel how it clears your palette in a way.
3: Hot sauce definitely isn't for everyone, but I like to think it boosts my metabolism and curbs my appetite at times--I hear its also good for depression (I concur it is).
4: Find satisfaction in your daily routine. Kind of related to concept "eat to live instead of live to eat." Be happy about what your accomplishing in school! Observe what you've done in a day. Write it down.

I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed and "out of your mind," but just give some small tips like these a chance.

Take care,
Dylan

**Posts:** 782 · by **Blitzkreger** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 11:36 am

Eat less?

**Posts:** 110 · by **Lamman** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 7:09 pm

Hey all. Dylan you've got some great advice there. all made sense. my wife thought she was overweight and started working on her diet about almost a year ago. she was really happy when she told me that she had lost her folds around her stomach by eating 6 times a day with 1 hour light exercise each day. So I think your advice would definitely work. She did mention it was pretty hard to keep it up initially because she kept forgetting to eat those extra meals and she was not used to exercise so her appertite wasn't as good. I think she must be on her desired weight now and is back on eating 3 meals a day from around 2 couple of months ago, still exercises I think. I can't tell if she had gained any weight. So i guess it is ok to eat 3 meals after the weight's been lost.

**Posts:** 1 · by **rickyolivr** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 7:00 am

After reading all that I think You basically don't have any problem and its just in Your mind. Sometimes we are moody and so eating gets affected but that doesn't mean its eating disorder. Have normal intake of food that You feel like and throw off these negative thoughts from mind.

**Posts:** 6 · by **Old Timer** » Wed Jan 02, 2013 2:31 pm

Hi Stay Strong-
I've been struggling with anorexia for almost 20 years now. It started in my late 20s and now I'm 45. This is not a problem to attack with a diet or by following some certain eating plan. It is a mental illness - not physical. Yes, the physical problem of food has to be addressed but the most important thing is to address the fear of food.

I'm not recovered or even close but I do understand the problem from the inside.

It's very difficult to hear people comment on our bodies - if most women were honest they would probably all admit to these feelings. This has more to do with self esteem and self awareness than anything. What feelings are you really having? Are you insecure with you schooling or family or socially? Can you maybe search inside yourself and see if there are some other things that might be adding to your stress right now?

I'm no therapist but from my own experiences I know that reading about eating disorders may help you understand some aspects but knowing what anorexia or bulimia is won't fix the problem. It is not just a matter of eating or not eating. It's a fear, an obsession, an addiction. Maybe you can use this forum to explore what is really causing you to feel insecure in your body.

Food is not the problem, fear is.

For myself I am still discovering places that I feel insecure. Perhaps that is why I still am so ill. Most of these things are problems I just don't easily see or I won't let myself see. It takes time to break down the walls that protect us from what is really hurting.

Seeing a therapist can help although it is not the complete answer. I've seen many and still have not found the key to unlocking my cure. It can be done though.
Good luck.
Old Timer

**Posts:** 4 · by **Bruce123** » Thu Feb 28, 2013 7:45 am

Natural tea is very good nutrition for our physical health and fitness, It is more important for burning the fat and reducing the extra bodyweight, Most of people use it to lose their bodyweight and getting slim and fit system, Taking teas daily keeps away from bodyweight gaining and manages our cholesterol level....

**Posts:** 51 · by **BonnieG2010** » Sat Mar 16, 2013 11:18 am

beautiful answer old timer!!
i've had a few psychotherapist myself and i found that the therapist is a faster way to get better, but we have to have in mind the picture of what we are aiming to, what we want to be and where we want to go.
i'd add to the beautiful things you said that food is the main thing that sustains us in life, so refusing food is a kind of saying no to life.
i have been an overeater, i wanted too much life. i was scared too but i wanted a lot.
a therapist can give hints and clues that we have to work out, we must see how they could fit into our lives and makes us live a better life. a psychologist doesn't have our deepest answers but he/she can sure be a help when we cannot find our way out.
i agree that books can be a good starter. i have a question for stay strong: do you like life?

**Posts:** 51 · by **BonnieG2010** » Sat Mar 16, 2013 11:47 am

beautiful answer old timer!!
i've had a few psychotherapist myself and i found that the therapist is a faster way to get better, but we have to have in mind the picture of what we are aiming to, what we want to be and where we want to go.
i'd add to the beautiful things you said that food is the main thing that sustains us in life, so refusing food is a kind of saying no to life.
i have been an overeater, i wanted too much life. i was scared too but i wanted a lot.
a therapist can give hints and clues that we have to work out, we must see how they could fit into our lives and makes us live a better life. a psychologist doesn't have our deepest answers but he/she can sure be a help when we cannot find our way out.
i agree that books can be a good starter. i have a question for stay strong: do you like life?

**Posts:** 35 · by **anxietymom** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:04 am

Forget everything you've learned about food. If you don't eat you are going to start gaining weight even faster when you do start eating again. And stop counting calories, that can drive you nuts and is so unnecessary. It is simple and will be less worry on your mind if you just remember these things:

Eat healthy, real foods...stay away from processed food.

Eat small meals throughout the day, you still have your main three (small portions so you don't ever feel "stuffed", but throw in a few light snacks. The less often my stomach growls, the skinner I seem to be, less bloat and less "pouch")

Exercise - three 20-30 minute cardios (so your heart rate is high) during the week and some muscle building and stretching on the off days. (My biggest tip - do 1-2 minute planks three times a week and start adding in pushups, you may find like I did, that's all you need plus the cardio - I did the 100 pushup in a row challenge you can find online, that plus the planks gave me a six pack when I've been trying for YEARS to get one of those and never could - now I can do 150-200 pushups in a row. I do 100+ twice a week now just to maintain.)

Relax, don't worry so much about food, but don't stop eating that will only make things worse for you. No need to be so concerned with all of it. I also cut out wheat and dairy, that helped me to lose the pouch too, but most people don't want to be that drastic. But it did help me. Good luck!

**Posts:** 16 · by **mildmind** » Thu Mar 28, 2013 6:49 am

Why don't you go to a doctor?

**Posts:** 28 · by **chiranjib35** » Fri Mar 29, 2013 6:11 am

eating too much is not only one reason of gaining weight. for example if you take more and more vegetable will you be over weight. i think no. obviously there are other reason of gaining weight. it could be genetic problem. or it could be other problem that we do not know. so before stopping eating consult with a doctor what the problem is.

**Posts:** 6 · by **adebuk99** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 10:51 pm

Hi,
i was once in your shoe and someone directed to to this book and i read it and my situation get changed ,moreso,you must understand the cause of the eating disorder,is it that you eat late or you dont have appetite for food .Try and see your doctor.Thanks

**Posts:** 13 · by **distorted_paranoia** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 4:19 am

I think that you and your boyfriend purposely counting calories to make sure that you two stay healthy is a bit odd. I mean, normally people count calories when they want to LOSE it, not GAIN it. If you aren't going to drop dead from lack of food and energy and is fit, you are considered healthy. Calories has very little to do with it. I consume a lot of calories, much over a healthy amount, but the exercise I do makes up for it. If you consume a healthy amount of calories but have a slow metabolism rate, obviously you'll fatten up.

I've got this thing where I feel really gross when I eat fatty foods, but I still do anyways. Don't let those feelings take control, listen to the smarter side of you.

I'm one to talk though XD

I need help :(

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