Disfonctional Family IN NEED OF MAJOR ADVICE HERE

We obviously have different view on what forgiveness is about. I see forgiveness as letting someone else off with whatever they did and dispersing of any debt that is created. In Greek we talk about "accommodating them on common ground." From what I have seen this is the worst thing someone can do if the other person is evil.

What you are talking about, in my book, has nothing to do with forgiveness. It has to do with resolving issues that are standing to help resolve emotional responses. If for instance there is a violation or issue of injustice we naturally get angry. So we need resolve the issue in our minds to be able to stop being angry.

We all live in the present all of the time. The most common reason why past issues arise is because someone related to us, who wants to use that past issue to hassle or trouble etc., is using relationship and the mental entanglement there is in relationship to present the idea. People perceive it and think it is their own thinking. Thus they become troubled. The important thing to understand is that ideas are not in business for themselves.

From what you say a person cannot escape being hassled because no matter how much "you let them go" if they present ideas and you don't realize they are just rubbish suggestions you will react. We interact mentally and no amount of letting them go is going to change that.

These are very good advice Kyrani. I am happy that you understand what's going on with me and trying to help me. I am working on staying myself, but letting go of negativity. If there is something negative in my life I talk about here because I like the atmosphere over here.Negativity is the issue.

However, can not letting go of positive people I met in the past be bad? Sometimes I hear people say that : ''The past is the past, you must forget everything because people change and things change''. But I have a memory of a teacher I really appreciated in the past like over decades ago. I always had this person in the back of my mind and saw him recently. I was happy to email him and thanked him for the great support and help he gave me in the past. I mentioned that I miss him. I highly respected him because he was like a father to me at the time and making me forget about the negativity of my home. I also VERY OFTEN during summer go back to my old elementary school and take a walk inside the school on open house days and walk around in hallways, remembering me as a child with all the positive moments I had. I miss these days. I see others my age who seem to have forgotten about these days of the past. But I am there coming back. It feels lonely, but it does make me feel good though.I feel nostalgia and sometimes am sad because I miss my childhood the good moments that were little, but precious. To me childhood is so important and precious. It depresses me people who forget all about the positive past and seem too adult serious and stuck up and forget about their childhood. I am young at heart.

Hi QueenBeauty,
Is it the past you miss or is it some good feelings in amongst all the bad that you are wanting to hold on to. Maybe that makes you realize you are strong, because you were able to have some good memory even though you were surrounded by negativity.

It is not bad to remember the past sometimes but are you wanting to live in the past. You say you miss it. What is it you miss? Is there something you want in your life now. I got a sense of you yearning for something now that you feel you had in the past.

Nothing is really lost. It is all contained in the moment. In a spiritual sense there is no past, present and future. There is only now and that now contains everything. Find yourself in the present moment. Do you do meditation? I can thoroughly recommend it. Just start with five minutes morning and night if you can and just build on it from there. You can also begin to do your daily duties in a meditative way, being fully present with whatever activity you are doing.
kyrani

Interesting.
What I am missing from the past is all the childhood moments like : Getting outside at night with friend of my streets to play ding dong ditch, running around laughing playing tag and pranks on neighbors. Basically having fun. Now that I am an adult, very few adults I met around me like to goof off and make jokes.Only my husband and sometimes my family. I miss the admiration my other friends had for me at the time because I was known to be the clown of the class making people laugh before high school, before the bullying. I stayed young at heart. I like positive things to stay the way they are. I didn't like waking up one day and realising that all my friends had changed and no longer were laughing or being warm toward me when I stayed the exact same way. I really get along with kids. A lot of kids tell me that they wish their parents were like me and it compliments me. When I have children, I want to give them the fun I always wanted to keep. Of course you have to grow up and be adult and work etc, but keeping a young heart is very important. Some people are so stiff and always talk about their work issues during parties instead of playing games and having fun. I get along with people who go out hiking, in nature, laugh and have fun. But these people are rare in my area. I am mostly surrounded by uptight people who only talk about work and politics. The only good thing I see from me is the fact that many men told me they wish also their wives would be as fun and sparkly as me. I view it positively. I know I want positivity in my life and I want to be able to reject all negativity or as much as I can. When I meet cold people who look uptight, I usually try to continue smiling, showing them that I am happy and I don't feel the need to talk about work and my personal problems and in fact..I am the one who suffered the most with all the negativity that happened in my life. They say their life sucks because of their co-workers competitive in sales, while me I have panic attacks, violent flash backs from my past and I am fighting it and smiling trying to make myself appear as happy as possible. Sometimes I just don't care and act the way I want to act like if I don't care about anything.

Hi QueenBeauty,
I can see that you are wanting to keep the happy memories and there is nothing wrong with that. We don't just forget all our past. We may not think of many things but I think there is nothing wrong with remembering and honoring what brought you joy.

But you also have a lot of negativity around you and some people who are unkind. So it is reasonable to be wanting to be nostalgic. You need to find activities that you like, join some groups or clubs that do these activities so you and your husband can meet new people that like what you like.

Also you need to scrutinize the people you accept in your life as friends. If they are not worthy of being your friend then you need to discard them. It is not worth your time or the emotional investment that is made in relationship if the other person is no good.

As for expressing dislike, if you don't like something, you have every right to do so. However you also need to be careful that your anger is only transitory. Long term anger or episodic anger can become harmful to health.

If someone is hateful you have a position to put a directive to the Universe to stop them, We have a right to make selections that can affect others in self defense. You don't need to act physically against them. The battle is fought and won in the Mind and no where else, unless you are physically attacked then you have the right to fight to defend yourself.

A mental image is a good counter attack in the mind that sets a directive to the Universe. If you go to the bottom of this page on my main blog here:
http://kyrani99.wordpress.com/2012/03/1 ... -problems/
You can see how the woman sees her enemies in mind with their heads blown off.

I also use remote viewing. You blank your mind so there is only darkness preferably and you let your hand draw. The drawing should evolve of its own, don't use any imagination. You will then be able to see who is trying to make mental suggestions and you can modify the drawing to create a counter. For example poke sticks in their eyes, crack their head, make blood run down from their necks etc. You only need to see the image to hold it in mind.

Don't show it to anyone else. Maybe your husband but it is best to be private. Then you can discard the picture. Once you get the mental image they can't continue to hassle you. This will help you overcome the negativity and dispel the anger.
Kyrani.

You give very good and reasonable advices. I agree with you and appreciate your caring for me on my threads. You might be able to help me on my next issue, it had nothing to do with negativity, but I'm not so sure what to do. It's in the psycology forum about the Weird creepy guy.