What are you feeling in this right moment?

Bad but not in the pits, ie. not actually weeping or screaming right now. Things do look pretty hopeless, though...

Candid wrote:Bad but not in the pits, ie. not actually weeping or screaming right now. Things do look pretty hopeless, though...

Hope you feel better soon

Being a nice person gets you Nowhere, you still end up being lonely!

i feel little bit tired, but thankful and happy

feeling like the possibilities are endless

Lucky you!

My life is no longer in my hands.

Miserable.

I crashed about 7pm weeping and exhausted, consequently got up at 5, checked my emails (none) and have been on Uncommon Forum ever since. Have to get ready for work soon.

I'm better placed now than I was this time yesterday, when I was struggling with a hangover. I got lots of criticism all day at work and shortly before knock-off time I went to the loo and sobbed, then washed my face and went back to my desk. I don't care if they get rid of me; I no longer seem to care about anything, except trying not to give offence.

Ho-hum, another day...

Candid wrote:I crashed about 7pm weeping and exhausted, consequently got up at 5, checked my emails (none) and have been on Uncommon Forum ever since. Have to get ready for work soon.

I'm better placed now than I was this time yesterday, when I was struggling with a hangover. I got lots of criticism all day at work and shortly before knock-off time I went to the loo and sobbed, then washed my face and went back to my desk. I don't care if they get rid of me; I no longer seem to care about anything, except trying not to give offence.

Ho-hum, another day...

(Hugs) I feel exactly the same. Everyday seems to be so difficult, its just seems there are no true friends in my life, just people who want to see you fail.

Life has its up and downs were told , but they are never anything remotely like equal are they. Seems I've been on a down for far too long, do we ever get a break?

Lonley

Freedom is in a place called Loneliness.
So is Candid.

Hold my hand, Freedom. We're both okay for now.

Like I'm drowning and the one's that are suppose to assist in saving me are not bothered.............

Mmm. Screaming on the inside, afraid to scream outwardly and upset people who have their own troubles. Lots of crying. Feel nauseous all the time. Trapped. Nowhere left to run.

i feel as intellectual as I ever have in my life. satisfied to find progress despite surmounting stress in daily life. i'm also readily confused by the societal changes that have come in just a few years (at least in my community). arguing the semantics behind that confusion is useless, so in a way I feel sabotaged or defeated. I'm not catastrophizing, but the anxiety tends to make me feel pretty hostile at times. all the proverbial sayings in the world, horses, king's men, or wheat fields doesn't incorporate an adequate visual or verbal transcription of the differentiations i'm experiencing. it isn't substance related or sexual.
as a psychology conoissuer, i'd say it was a form of depression, except i still choose to function in simple activities that I enjoy and I'm not self-defeating in my thoughts. under circumstances similar to my own, the concept of denial is hard pressed to be set as a defenition that makes sense in a functional setting.
i wouldn't lie and suggest that there is only some cognitive dissonance in the home, whatsoever, dysfunctional is a good word to describe the matter.
at the same time, the dysfunction is so routinized, that progress can only be individually pursued. good times here are like a parent's favorite kid, or a child's favorite toy. that should be self-explanatory. it's maniacal and as a stipulated tendency of debate, passive.
one person would call it stress, another shock, and another surprise.
anyway I can concieve of the idea it emerges as confusion.
a big jumbled confusing mess.
most people wrote a quick word or two words. some would say then that i'm reaching. maybe start to classify a symptom, but I feel that in effect, i'm just being a realist in an almost surreal, very irrational environment.
accentuating, not emphasizing, the occurences in my town, isn't picking a fight, being a cluster of wishful thining, and diatribe descriptions. it's just the only thing a person can really do, in order to make sense of the trouble. i guess, when all the ammunition to call something estranged isn't acknowledged as a 'weapon' for you to combat the distress, looking for even a phd who might say you're experiencing any variety of delusion, doesn't make sense.
it's like walking tall, with a lot of hunched over, tired people, and some really well attended impressionists. it's not just inside my home, or inside my head.
i always used to wonder why people would say you're crazy without taking about what lunacy they saw in me or experienced with me, or why they would say I was scary. I think it's the calm of not catastrophizing in a pretty humid swelter of methods.
i live near a peat bog though, maybe it's the water. that's as close to catastrophizing as I allow myself to get. but i feel pretty reassured in my own solitarily ambitious effort (seeming and teeming as it may be) that it's still a rationale null content.

i can define myself as a kind person though, because despite the daily stress, i still extend my hand only to do something positive, and retract it so i don't enable people around me; but like I said it's a confusing jumble. a sunday crossword attempted with the worst kind of hangover.

the most offensive feeling that I have in the dissonance though, is when people call me an opportunist or suggest it. they still 'manage church' too so not only am I offended at this point, but in a sadistic and dysfunctional way i'm empowered. i'm not really sure how i'm keeping my chin up, from a pragmatic viewpoint, a troubleshooting, problem solving vantage. that gives me a sense of self and pride.

at times, it seems like this is the general idea with a lot of people in the household. the neighborhood seems busy, but at such different timing I wonder that it isn't a universal refection of melancholy that i'm describing. the town is crap: flooding, rude military-like policeman, nosey people in a snotty way; etc. That's life true, but being that the town seems so readily dysthemic at the same time I don't understand why there are troubles in it at all. You'd think survival of this kind of stupidity (dumme butsche might describe the 'why' implied before), community sense would be worth more. We don't live on an island.

don't try to sniff the air on mount everest, with your butt cheeks in the water.