Self-hate thoughts keep making me cry in public.

This is something that I would also be interested in, please let me know if you find anything! I'm in a similar rut, except I'm unable to cry haha

Self-respect is not something you seek out to have given to you. You must give it to yourself. So it follows, if you are not loving who it is your are, you can also be loathing the person that you are. This too is something you give yourself. But often when people feel this way its because they don't possess the confidence to believe in what it is they are. They don't feel like it's their right to say what is good about them, so they go looking for those answers in others. A bad recipe for self-esteem since no one will ever have your best interests as well as you can.

So the question (and resolve here) is simplistic in layout but difficult in execution because it requires something that people in these positions have a hard time doing... facing themselves. When you have sunk so low that any thought of not measuring up hits an emotional cue, then your programming has hit an instinctive stage. You've now taught your emotions to respond to these suggestions as pain.

Ignoring it is not the answer, because what you're actually doing is feeding it's ability to impact you in less emotional moments. In effect you're running from this pain. If you want to quit running and you want to find a resolve, you need to stop in your tracks, turn around and face those demons. You must face what it is that makes you feel this way. That's where you need to have a very honest conversation with yourself and ask the most relevant question in all of this - Where did this start?

No one is born hating themselves. In our early years where we are in our formative stage of absorbing everything around us that lay the foundation for our emotional identity. We begin to take in images, events, and words that give us a story about ourselves from others around us. These are the years when we are taught what to do, how to do them, and how well we did them according to the feedback given to us. These are the first years of building the instincts that lay the foundation of how we operate.

So you need to go back and start from the beginning. Where did the thought of accomplishing something first become a struggle for you? Was something said to you? When did you first start feeling the frustration of that? And what carries that emotion to this day? To find the cure, you must first identify the disease. So sit down and start that journey. Knowledge is power and that's where we learn to turn it into self-empowerment. Once you begin understanding what started these cues to get upset, you can better understand why they do not need to reside with you now. You have to face them, accept them, and then tear them down so they no longer carry rule in your life.