So this is going to be so out there, so I apologize in advance for the length/if any of it makes sense.
I won't go into excruciating details, but I found myself "wound up" in the "loli/shota" community online, which, if you don't know, depicts pornographic images of fictional characters under 18. I really want to leave, it always makes me uncomfortable, but it's hard to do, and I don't know how. They keep telling me how it's ok because it's "not real kids" and "helps them not do stuff to real kids while they gather the money to go to therapy" and "it's just like how you play GTA to get rid of your violent urges".
I am just so confused and really need help "kicking the bucket" as it were. I just don't know how to get out and convince myself it's wrong. Does this make me a bad person? Am I a pedophile? I'm not attracted to real kids in any way, romantically, sexually, hell, I don't even want kids.