Define love

I think we use the word "love" in different sense, probably most of which have already been suggested in previous comments. If you raised the question of definition because you suspected this ambiguity gives occasion for popular abuse, I agree. The phrase "I love you" uttered by one lover to another can be either self-centered, other-centered ... or some of both. Our motives are seldom unalloyed.

To add my suggestion: Love as an emotion equal to infatuation is usually selfish, but love as a self-less action void of emotional attachment to the object of love seems incomplete. Even selfish love at some point is usually accompanied by selfish action, so perhaps love may often be conceived as encompassing both action and emotion.

Love for me is the romantic feeling you have for someone, that tingling feeling for someone which makes you smile even just by thinking about him/her. That you can't wait to see him/her again and spend some time with that person.

hahaha. That's just my own personal definition regarding my own experience with love.

Okay...so I have made a choice to live my life expressing my "unconditional acceptance" of EVERYONE else. It does not matter what circumstances I have to endure, I accept you all and I do not need anything in return as I am only here to demonstrate that it IS POSSIBLE to love ALL other souls without judging them! Is this healthy for my soul...?

Okay...so I have made a choice to live my life demanding "unconditional acceptance" from EVERYONE else. It does not matter what I inflict upon others, I will take all I can get with a self-centered greed and I do not feel obligated to demonstrate any acceptance of your choices. I am only here to judge you! Is this healthy for my soul...?

Okay...so I have made a choice to live my life with my only goal being physical satisfaction. I am only concerned with the physical stimulation this world has to offer me. I will use everyone and everything until I am bored and decide to change or move on. Is this healthy for my soul...?

True unadulterated love can only mean the UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE of all life around us...anything less would be conditional love...love that exists only if we meet all the conditions set for us.

So...does it really exist???

Zuriel wrote:True unadulterated love can only mean the UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE of all life around us...anything less would be conditional love...love that exists only if we meet all the conditions set for us.

So...does it really exist???

1st off, Zuriel, I'm glad you're back & thank you for starting this thread - I love it!
Yes, I believe this unconditional love exists, but I don't think it's possible to always experience it. I think we get incredible glimpses of it here & there.

What is healthy for the soul is to love one's self and others. It's not an easy balance, but it's ideal.

There is another similar thread in this forum that I wrote something similar to what you just wrote...
http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic. ... highlight=

The problem with love is that it isn't an emotion. It is a state of being towards another. The kind of love most think of when the word is uttered is romantic love.

From what I seen and felt, I believe that being romantically in love means a combination of: lust(wanting that person, desire to be with them), respect, trust and compassion.

Infatuation aka passion is nothing more than a chemical reaction in the brain, similar to a drug. Think of it as humans becoming mindless animals in heat. Pure instinct, a lower state of being. That is why people who strive for passion in romance never really find love, because romantic passion doesn't have anything else to sustain it once the chemical "high" wears off.

While those that are in love might be able to sustain passion in blips(ups and downs).

Voidwalker,
I agree, & well put.
But I'm still amazed at this drive, even if it is illusional.

Infatuation, dependence, and lust.

I wonder if the common view that love is a deep, selfless, magical bond is why the divorce rate is so high. Infatuation, realty, disillusion, contempt, divorce, repeat.

I think for love to exist there must be a positive reason for it otherwise we wouldn't have evolved to feel it.

Love is normally associated with those we are closest to, our partners, our children and our family and friends, and it is shared amongst these people as these are the people that ensure we and eventually your children, hopefully remain safe and healthy. The stronger the love the more important it is. We love are partners strongly as they are the ones where our children come from and have the most responsibility in ensuring there healthy survival. We love our children strongly in order to protect them.

So I think love is a motivator and a reason to act with urgency and it creates satisfaction and is rewarding. It is the glue that binds us together.

admire and lust

Love is you think she is the most beautiful girl in the world,you think she is perfect,you want to stay with her all the times and feel really happy.you like her smile and you work hard for her and want to do anything to satisfy her desire.

Love is a mirror. The love we feel is a reflection of what we most want... (or think we want) & can reflect our fear.
Also, love is like a seed within us - & others can water it to help it grow, but it's always within us.

after reading only a few comments i believe in my opinion

love
friendship
sex

are the 3 majors and all work in different way i believe love to be a subconcious action that forces the brain with chemicle drug overload to help continue the human raise.
thats why love can just strike by instant site

friendship is something that has to be accomplished in order for a functioning relation ship to mentaly understand the differents in intualect

and of coarce the most primal of them all sex, we all need to fill this subconcious need and achohal explains it quite well

I am impressed by many of the responses...but am also saddened in a sense. I realize love means something different to everyone but my root question is to define "love" - not how it makes us feel, not the physical or chemical reactions caused by love; Rather...the beginning, pure love...one definition...one love...from one human to another human...love for mankind...Acceptance of all that anyone else chooses...acceptance in letting them choose that...acceptance of being part of their choice...acceptance of ALL other life choices, without ANY expectations...acceptance form beginning to end...acceptance without need for change...acceptance without fear...acceptance without lonliness or isolation...acceptance as a celebration of all choices...That is all I am talking about...it seems so finite - and at the same time, so infinite!

HAPPY 2011 all!

Zuriel,
As mentioned, love is infinite & is experienced in countless different ways.
Maybe to you, love is acceptance... but for me, it's searching, finding & striving for what's best.
Describing love is like trying to describe God or spirituality - many different religious beliefs, rituals, creation etc... but basically it's resonating.
If what resonates, or is most meangingful for you is acceptance, that is what love will mean to you. If what you resonate another moment is a beautiful sunset - appreciation is what love means to you at that moment.
What or how you resonate isn't as significant as the resonating (or loving) itself.

Happy 2011!

Love: A personal attraction brought about by the ability of a person (or an object) to fulfill one or more personal cravings. The cravings fall into two broad categories; physical and psychological.

Physical cravings:
a) Have a limited lifespan. This is evidenced by the fact that relationships based upon looks alone do not last long.
b) Are the enabler for triggering the craving for romantic attachment.
c) Dominate your attention causing all other aspects of your beloved, annoying or otherwise, to go unnoticed.
d) Become more intense as contact with your beloved increases. For this reason, if you do not think that the love will be reciprocated, cut all associations with that person as quickly as possible. Intense cravings that cannot be satisfied make life a hell on earth. Ask any unfortunate soul who is or has been the victim of unrequited love.

Psychological cravings:
a) May result in an attachment to a physical object. For example, some people fall in love with their house. This may be because the house is physically appealing to them, brings back good memories from previous times etc... The key point is that the object must bring about positive emotions.
b) Have a lifespan dependent upon:
(i) Whether this craving arises from a permanent aspect of your own personality or is a temporary craving resulting from an incident in your own life.
(ii) If the attachment is to another person; how long your beloved can continue to fulfill your craving(s). The absence of your beloved may result in you seeking others to satisfy these cravings causing a diminution in your love.
c) For the person with the craving; requires that person to be honest about their needs. For the beloved; requires that person to be able to assist the other in a positive way that will not bring about hurt due to, for example, ridicule.

From a Buddhist perspective, all of these cravings will result in suffering. Cravings are like chocolate to a chocoholic, have one piece and they're always left wanting more. The temporary pleasure of eating that single piece of chocolate leaves them with the desire to eat more however this desire is not pleasurable. If you are seeking Buddhist enlightenment, these cravings need to be nullified. Interestingly, the nullification of all attachments (i.e. the attainment of enlightenment) leaves the individual with an unconditional love for all mankind. This love is different though as it does not arise from attachment. It manifests itself in the willingness to perform altruistic acts for all people irrespective of how disagreeable they may be. This in itself raises some interesting questions about the fall of man but that's another subject.