Highly critical boss

**Posts:** 7 · by **sassyl** » Sun Feb 23, 2014 4:33 pm

Hello all,

Sorry for the long post.

I am currently having some issues with my boss. After returning from time off over Christmas, I noticed her attitude towards me had changed for the worse. She was extremely critical of my work and pointed out any errors made rather publicly. I'm not sure what happened to cause this change in attitude but it has continued ever since.

It appears to be worse if I have a few days off and upon my return there are always 'problems' with my work, which she sarcastically remarks on. I got very annoyed a few weeks ago, when I returned from being off sick for 3 days and even though I still wasn't 100%, my work was still frequently criticised over the first few days. She was indirectly blaming me for not chasing up a file which was left with a colleague for their action to be done from 5 months ago. She went off on a rant in front of her boss about it with only me in the room at the time. I felt so bad as I couldn't believe I could've done this and with so many other 'mistakes' being made apparent, I lost a lot if confidence in my work.

The next day I got the file back to find that i had not dealt with the file 4 months ago and that my colleague did as I had been off at the time. I brought this to my boss's attention that it was not my fault, but she didn't say very much other than 'oh well'. Nothing was said to my colleague. I didn't want her to continue unnecessarily critisizing my work so The following day I spoke to her privately and asked her not to assume that all mistakes were my fault and that when I was off, I didn't want to be getting the blame for mistakes just because I wasn't there. I also emailed her boss about another work matter, but also mentioned that I had not dealt with the file that caused such an issue to try and defend my work.

Since this she has been trying to trip me up and turn colleagues against me. She has been talking about our conversation to her colleagues even though it was supposed to be private. I don't know what to do. My colleague last week noticed that she was 'harsh' on me (in their words) and so did defend me, which I thanked them for. She has since been 'chatting' to them about me during weekend working which I was not in for, so I fear what tomorrow will bring.

**Posts:** 105 · by **whybotherwhynot** » Sun Feb 23, 2014 6:28 pm

Your boss probably is having a PMS, menopause, midlife crisis, personal issues and is insecure; and she's trying to dump her bad feelings on someone at work. And you're an unlucky one to be in her sight.

Have the courage to stand up for yourself, tell her to back off. Tell her not to be after your back all the times. That would make you nervous and you could make more mistakes. Then that's her fault. Make a journal. Record everything you do and she does and the conversations between the two of you.

If you know you are a good employee and having good relation with many staff at your workplace, you don't have to be afraid of her. Some bosses/supervisors are very mean and are like bullies. Don't let her to bully you. If you think you're right, go to the higher management and report her. Do you have union? If you have, report this one to the union. Ask them to speak up for you. If you feel too stressed out because of the way this one treats you, go to your doctor to tell him/her everything and ask for a stress leave. Go to a counselor (paid by your company) for counseling. Get help. Do something to strengthen yourself and build your confidence.

Be strong and have courage. Don't let the mean ones to bully you.

You work for your company, for your TOP boss (who pays you), not for the mean one who is just a supervisor who wants to use her authority to show off her power and bully everyone and tell everyone to do "her way or the high way". Not all bosses/supervisors can be right in their boss's eyes when they do wrong. I believe there are good bosses above the bad ones. I believe in justice.

**Posts:** 7 · by **sassyl** » Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:24 pm

Thank you whybotherwhynot for your reply. I thought myself it was to do with the menopause which doesn't make it much easier, but at least I know why.

Unfortunately, The culture in our organisation is to punish those who speak out to such behaviour. At least that has been my past experience, which eventually cost me my promotion. I feel that the only choice I have is to keep quiet and try and stick It out, as I have too much to lose by saying anything.

Many thanks for your thoughts again, it's nice to hear someone else's perspective and opinion on the matter.

**Posts:** 7 · by **sassyl** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:56 am

Hi all.

Sorry to have to revive this but...

My boss has now recruited all managers in critisizing me and my work, including their boss. I had bought a new house in January and didn't move in until the middle of February. Before I moved in, my boss kept throwing hints about buying houses and all the costs associated. I didn't tell her straightaway because I needed time myself to adjust to the new house, I still haven't fully moved all my belongings yet.

I'm not sure how they found out when I did not tell them, but I can only assume one of the managers seen my car parked outside the house, as she also has a house nearby. I heard my manager asking the other; 'how did she get the money for that?' They are constantly checking property websites, to see if my other house is up for sale.

The constant comments from most members of staff about money and houses as well as the invasive private questions about my financial situation is driving me nuts. Other insults have included the possibility about me being on the autistic spectrum or a selective mute....simply because I'm not telling them all my private details, (nor do I ask for theirs). This is all indirect and hard to prove.

I am getting more work than ever before, and have no one to turn to regards this. I am reluctant to tell them of my house move because of how they are acting already. I am becoming more nervous and ill everyday. They are trying to make out that this is due to the 'debt' that I'm not telling them about, but really it's their behaviour. Please help. X

**Posts:** 37 · by **April_Jun156** » Thu Mar 20, 2014 12:52 am

Your boss sounds alot like one of my old bosses, and what it really is, is the pettiness of her personality, what you described is simply a series of immature behaviour that should not be tolerated at the workplace. It's both unprofessional and disruptive, not to mention downright childish.

Okay, even if she's going through menopause, which I doubt she is, it doesn't give her the right to take it out on other people, everybody is equal in the workplace, I mean, you have absolutely no right to take your little tantrums out on others, even if they're your subordinates. As I mentioned above, I once had a boss like that, and I refused to put up with it, I'm not her mom or dad, I didn't have an obligation to put up with her childishness, and she proved to be dead wrong when she thought I would just put up with it silently. What I did was I found an even better job, and when I left, she's stuck doing alot of my work which she didn't have enough experience in. That's what you get for not respecting the right people, and she got what she deserved. It might sound harsh, but in the end it's really for their own benefit, because if might get them thinking that perhaps they need to change for the better.

I think one day your boss just may get her just desserts, but until then you gotta protect and do what's best for yourself, if that means finding another job, then hey, why not? You may just find something even better.

**Posts:** 37 · by **April_Jun156** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 1:59 am

You know, I guess it's not a coincidence that your boss is a woman, I have always been told that on average women tend to be more neurotic than men, and having a male boss is ten times better than a female boss, and I personally don't want to believe that given I myself am a lady, so I'd hate to think we women are like, but it seems to be true from everything I've heard, I mean, heck I even experienced it myself, but still, I would rather think that those particular problem women bosses are exceptions, they're probably the worst kind of immature, neurotic, and narrow-minded individuals that you'll ever come across in your lives, and by individuals I mean they can easily be men or women. Perhaps it doesn't have so much to do with women as it has to do with their personalities. I mean, those "problem" bosses do lots of other things in common, and like I said previously, it's the pettiness of their personalities, and their demanding and overbearing nature that make it difficult to anyone to want to work with them, and one day they're going to learn it the hard way, or perhaps they already are.

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Thu Apr 24, 2014 4:37 pm

Fear can never bring us happiness. Remember that what anyone else does or says is on their conscience and however you respond is on your conscience. Stay true to yourself and keep your head up.

Highly critical boss

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

Main Menu

Workplace and Management Resources

Recent posts

Active topics

Contact Us