hello,
i just found this and was hoping someone might be able to help me.
For a few years now i've been unable to control my anger. little things set me off and i can feel the rage in myself just bubbling inside.
I'm not sure really how to explain this, i hate myself for being this way but i don't know how to change.
I get very angry at little things.
I just think that i'm losing it, i end up shouting and have tantrums like an infant does, it's pathetic but i can't control it.
The thing that's really getting to me is that i've been drinking quite alot over the last year (once a week getting so drunk i forget everything). when i'm drunk if i i can sometimes turn violent. i've slapped my friends, boyfriend, i've kicked walls just because i get so mad. I'm a terrible person but i just can't stop this.
I was feeling ok about myself, i've had about 5 weeks where i didn't get mad, just kept it inside. I was so proud but then last night it all erupted. I'm on my last chance with my firends and my partner.
I'm so ashamed of myself but i can't seem to help it. I feel like killing myself just because i'm scared of what i might do.
How can i stop this and pull my life together, i really can't cope any longer
By the way i'm 21. I have an idea what's made me angry but i just want it to stop