do i give up ifeel empty

hi... ive rung and lost my pride by askin for another chance ..... she says .... dont i listern ... she doesnt want to see me again ...look at my previous posts .. if u can ... ? she says she was going to forgive me ..but now that she has found out her toe at the joint of her foot is broken !! and not just bruised she no longer thinks she can forgive ... and wont allow me to patch it up .... im devastated!!! not angry yet maybe thatl come .. we havnt seen each other since boxin day .. andpart from phone contact when she usually hangs up on me !! i phoned tonite and the conversation was fine until i discussed us .... i had got used to us!! and i love her friendship .. i feel i have let her down .. she has made me feel like im a bully and someone who doesnt deserve to be happy ... my world is empty ... how do u get thru the long nites ....i need to know....i dont want this to end .. sive got in too deep iknow .. and built my world round her ....im scared .