Unrealistic Expectations?

**Posts:** 7 · by **Biads** » Sat Jun 14, 2014 10:32 am

I've recently started a new job.

I have been working 12+ hour days. Including the weekend.

BUT I am not the first person to arrive in the morning nor am I the last person to leave at night.

The pay is terrible, the work is tedious, and I just don't know if it will get better.

I studied for 6 years at university to get into this profession.
BUT I still feel like I know nothing, and I don't know if I will ever improve.

I never had any real talent for this profession to be honest, I'm one of those people who is good at a lot of things but has yet to find the area I excel in.
I could be OK at this. Or I might fail. I don't know yet.
BUT I'm not sure if I find any joy in it though, or if I ever will.
BUT there is nothing else I want to do either.

I'm not sure if I never really succeeded at university because I was maybe too immature for the environment and didn't take it seriously enough.

I feel all these hangovers from university, I had one lecturer tell me straight up "Some people just aren't supposed to be in this profession, you should quit".

Honestly I've not spent enough time within the profession to know if I am any good at it, if it is different to university, if I am different to who I was.

I am down the very bottom of the ladder. I have NO experience. So OF COURSE any job I get will be hideous.

But HOW horrible is horrible? It is a white collar profession, there is no manual labour, the work is physically easy in that respect.
There are people who slave away, for less pay, doing far worse work. I'm aware of that.

Maybe I just don't know the meaning of hard work. Maybe I am spoiled and expect things to come to me easily. I've never been hungry.

I'm 26. I'm not "young" any more.
All my friends are married. They work hard. They are doctors. Lawyers. Politicians. Financial Analysts.
They don't complain.

On the one hand I feel like everyone around me works too had, for nothing but the delusion of success.
On the other hand I feel pathetic and lazy in comparison and feel ashamed by my lack of motivation and "success".

I have no perspective, I feel everyone around my just gets on with it, slaves away, and is fine with it.
I feel like I don't have a right to want more than what I am being offered.

OR DO I?

Am I just unrealistic in my expectations of work and life?

In this day and age is it unrealistic to expect to be able to live off a 9 to 5 job?

Be honest with me - Will I fail at anything I try at if I just don't want to work THAT hard?

I feel like I'm losing MYSELF at the expense of becoming a LABEL.
But I feel I am worth NOTHING, to anyone, if I am not a JOB.

I want to be a beneficial part of society, I want to contribute, I want to do good, but I want to enjoy life too... Is that impossible?

Is having a job you love a myth?
Do I just suck it up, get on with it, and shut up about it?

**Posts:** 1554 · by **laureat** » Sun Jun 15, 2014 3:17 am

when we read lots of books; there comes a time when we feel like we don't remember anything from those books;

but that is not the truth; is just the way we feel,

if we don't trust ourselves; the problem is that we don't even try to remind ourselves the books from the past; because we are busy thinking about something else ;about how to react on the situation

it would be good idea to condition ourselves to stand relaxed; when we answer; to give ourselves at least 5 seconds freedom to think about it before we react spontanieously with an answer such as: No I cannot remember, no I cannot do this, no I don't have a talent...

**Posts:** 54 · by **Paul Thomas** » Sun Jun 15, 2014 8:41 am

I reckon there are millions of people in the world that do a job that they love, or at least find interesting, rewarding with a sense of satisfaction at the end of the day. There is no reason why you can't be one of them.

When you do work that you love, you will be naturally good at it, you will excel and get promotions and it won't feel like lots of effort.

Work Life Balance is a key part of leading a happy, healthy and successful life. So, yes it is very possible to live off a 9 to 5 job. It will take a reasonable amount of effort to be successful in any job. However, you can be smart with how you work with good time management.

You mention that you want to be a beneficial part of society, you want to contribute and be good at what you do and enjoy life. All this is certainly possible.

I would suggest doing some soul searching about what you really want to do with your life. The book "What Color is Your Parachute" by Richard Bolles is a fantastic book to help you do this. You can get it at Amazon.com

Finally, try not to compare yourself with others. That doesn't really help and just makes you feel bad. I know, because I used to do that myself! Instead, set goals to achieve the life you want and work towards these every day.

Hope this helps

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Sun Jun 15, 2014 10:15 am

Finding your passion, your purpose, your calling is the key to getting up everyday enthusiastic to make a difference. Only courageously following your heart moment by moment can give you a life that you consistently love. Ask yourself "What can I do right now to keep me happy? and trust your intuition. Only you can choose to be true to yourself. This isn't a rehearsal dude! This is your life and it is precious, only you can choose to celebrate every moment of it.

Alan Watts puts this beautifully

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ7Y1-0bNeQ

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